Re: Stripping the willow by ecargo	18-Jan-07/9:00 AM
POEME STATS: Stanzas: 3 Lines: 12 Uses of 'the': 7 Uses of 'a': 4 Not that I'm criticising there, but you might want to borrow one of the mage's chisels? 'along the long' = yikes 'a sough of doubt' = sex on a light blue screen Stanza two is super, so is the final line. Stanza one feels weaker than the rest, not that I know what to suggest. Maybe it's the brevity of line one. Everyone who says this is a lovely poem is right though.
Re: He's... by holliebollie_19	18-Jan-07/9:05 AM
Couple of typos in here need fixing. Influences?
Re: Molecules of Paint by Dovina	21-Jan-07/3:13 AM
This is pretty good actually. The images are well-crafted and effective. It needs a more careful second read though. I'll come back later. Metrically, I like it mostly, although some places need reworking ('crimson/Artistes' etc.). rockmage might have a point about there being too many words though, ones like 'while', 'now', 'then' can probably be edited out or replaced. 'spec' = 'speck'? 'resignly' = 'resignedly'? Love the final stanza :-)
Re: the gods of rook and man by richa	21-Jan-07/3:24 AM
Yes. Punctuate the final line?
Re: Body Worlds by Dental Panic	21-Jan-07/3:27 AM
Damn good, have you been to the exhibit?
Re: The road to my Saturday by Enkidu	21-Jan-07/3:28 AM
Quite clearly about being drunk in Miskin Street on a Saturday night.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jan-07/11:39 AM
Did you actually edit this, or are you just resubmitting it for better votes and comments? HINT: comment and thou shalt be commented upon.
Re: The Glass by dancin_n_da_moonlite	26-Jan-07/4:59 AM
Keep playing around with this one, because it really has got some good ideas and potential.
Re: Controlled Euthanasia by Dovina	26-Jan-07/5:03 AM
The last stanza's great and the rhythm's good. It feels like it's missing a bit though; I tend to work in threes - you've given two punishments here, maybe a third would add to the effect? I've never seen a syringe flop, or is that line just innuendo?
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jan-07/5:05 AM
Well the first eight lines are fine, after that the metre disintegrates, and if that falls apart in a poem then so does the message. Keep chipping away at this one.
Re: Menopause by Stephen Robins	30-Jan-07/7:16 AM
Do you really need the comma?
Re: The Monday Hangover by Miggy	30-Jan-07/7:18 AM
"White dribbles colors what is a black plane" Disability and racism; two of poemranker's favourite topics -010-
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-07/7:44 AM
I was playing Absolute Balderdash with some friends a while back, and one of the answers they came up with was 'A light source used in streetlamps'. I, of course, misinterpreted it as 'a light sauce used in streetlamps', and will swear for ever that that is the best image conceivable.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-07/7:50 AM
For added irony, try some metre. 'Loci' is a great word to use in poetry, I must try it more often.
Re: Darkroom Dancer by MacFrantic	30-Jan-07/8:04 AM
Not bad. Typo last word?
Re: a voice poem by richa	30-Jan-07/12:33 PM
'The' happens far too much for me; excellent otherwise.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-07/4:40 AM
Yet again another poeme title which hints tantalisingly at the noble subject of cricket but fails to deliver :-( I think lines two and three are a bit unfair; if the money hadn't gone to him then it would have gone to IBM. Decide which would have been worse. The first line is good, as is the final line.
Re: HIGHER by Radiation	31-Jan-07/4:54 AM
The poeme suggests a postmodern analysis of the metaphysical limits of contemporary binary logic; through the title we can see that the afterlife is indeed a higher plane of existence, but the dread Halls of Mandos can only be accessed through an infinite fall. The implication of such spiritual reverse gravity is at once fascinating and haunting; this hauntology is similar to a certain exploration of Marxist theory and, for all its wonder, is bow'ls.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-07/5:01 AM
In the whole entirety of the English language, are there no words synonymous with 'white'?
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-07/1:26 AM
Pretty good fun, although the rhythm trips in places. I like the last two lines especially, and am tempted to give this a ten to make up for the fact that CLS isn't here any more and would undoubtedly have seen the truth in here. After all, in the -=Middle_Ages=- it was normal behaviour to burn people who weren't honest, proper Christians - but now it's somehow become socially unacceptable. I mean, what's all that about?