Re: Good King Brownceslas by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	25-Apr-05/4:05 AM
at last a real xmas song. Jesu would be proud of his darkest angel.
Re: Disable by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	25-Apr-05/4:04 AM
you crack me up
Re: a comment on Country Song by Caducus	25-Apr-05/3:38 AM
Yeah welsh in deep with a texan country girl it was written for her. Ta for the link u sent.
Re: Country Song by Caducus	22-Apr-05/7:40 AM
if you play this backward sit has a happy ending.
Re: Sudden Change by Dovina	20-Apr-05/8:30 AM
Weird how the opening line seemed long but was ironed out by fiorst line of second stanza. The last line is sheer brilliance hope they interpret it as i did (wrong or not).
Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT	20-Apr-05/8:28 AM
drop the - 'on what we' that'll help for starters
Re: Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT	20-Apr-05/8:28 AM
Would slap me sideways with a briefer last line.
Re: Hard Rock by Dovina	8-Apr-05/7:40 AM
lines 4/5 very clever - good poem.
Re: Yesterdays testament by Caducus	30-Mar-05/3:06 AM
partly inspired by Sylvia Plath's 'The Rival' only in draft form.
Re: a comment on How to make a suicide bomber by Caducus	14-Mar-05/2:29 AM
see above reply to zodiac.
Re: a comment on How to make a suicide bomber by Caducus	14-Mar-05/2:28 AM
Z no names are named or places pointed at. Who knows what we would do until we are forced into that situation. One point that comes to mind though is look how the English dealt with the Jacobites, and how the japs in the USA were treated after pearl harbour (mostly covered up) also texans have a unique way to deal with burglars - they shoot them. All I am saying is human nature is violent once we are oppressed. For the record - i dont condone suicide bombers, this represents the common man driven over the edge and not the extremists who do it for 'paradise'. Thanks y'all for commenting. It was worth it to see dark angels .cameo
Re: Corner Shop, 5 Quinton Road by Caducus	25-Feb-05/3:19 AM
I'm such a bastard should i keep it open and add it to my woefully low 'happy' collection.
Re: Garage sale by INTRANSIT	18-Feb-05/1:17 AM
The ants are people right? As always a wealth of meaning with a poverty of words how d'ya do it trucker? Did u get my email?
Re: Loss by <{Baba^Yaga}>	11-Feb-05/1:40 AM
this is amazing, truly awesome.
Re: a comment on Matthew's Bastard by Caducus	10-Feb-05/1:30 AM
With a name like Doug who the fuck are you to try and leave a wisecrack? Knob jockey.
Re: a comment on Birth by Caducus	26-Jan-05/2:27 AM
Thanks Wilco: An Explanation on the last stanza for milefromnowhere. Pulled from the cunt of life to the arms of death, concentrated breathing slowly leaving, reborn a Father to the baby you denied me. Last stanza is about giving up/taking ones life. It ends pretty much as it begins because in the first stanza he is born and in the last he dies BUT death in a sense IS a new beginning, this is highlighted in the line 'pulled from the cunt of life' this represents life is/does not have the purity of a womb but instead its something repugnant such as c*. The fact that in line 2 i say 'to the arms of death' normally in birth you go to the arms of a midwife but here its the gentle arms of death/peace - peace is what we are when we are fetuses. In short from the cold cunt of life to the warm embracing arms of death. 'Concentrated breathing' this is what women do as they give birth and its what the character is doing again YES in death but to him its like a rebirth, an escape, not anything sad anymore as the pain will soon be over. The last 3 lines are key as these explain his reason for wanting to die. His hopes of becoming a father have been scuppered by his lover because she doesnt want children and he loves her but cannot choose a life with love childless or become re-born through dying. As his life feels worthless he decides to end it. I tried to make the end not so much depressing but hopeful.
Re: Rendered Genderless by PsydewaysTears	18-Jan-05/6:53 AM
Everything seemed good till Stza 4 which reminded me of whitney houston and that is not good. However the rests peachy.
Re: Recognition by nentwined	17-Jan-05/2:37 AM
You've managed to create one of those sayings like twain or wilde and done so in the limits of a haiku so brrrravo its def one of the best on here.
Re: a comment on Stopping at the oak (draft) by Caducus	17-Jan-05/2:32 AM
Damn you're right and when I posted this I wanted the grammar cops to beat me senseless till I resembled jackie stallone. To explain my use of banshee its a female spirit which haunts in the wind so it does make sense but the meter and all the other points you mentioned are spot on. I've done better and a lot worse but I'll let this John Merrick piece breathe itself into its own death.
Re: Butterflies by Caducus	4-Nov-04/1:32 AM
God was i just optimistic?