| Re: a comment on A Countercultural Trip by peaceseeker |
9-Oct-03/12:10 PM |
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| Re: Never Love A Poet by Caducus |
9-Oct-03/9:02 AM |
first verse is the best, a very eccentric rhyming scheme but it seems to work.
A small criticism is the use of a narrative too much, rather than setting the scene and letting the reader infer. When the poet takes the interpetation away from the reader, the reader feels like he is prying.
Other than that good stuff
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| Re: A History of Truth by Blue Magpie |
9-Oct-03/7:43 AM |
don't like the rhyming, it seem arbitrary.
Other than that I like it. Reads like a kind of thesis in verse.
Glad you mentioned emerson
So many ace lines, my favourite is' To swim is so much harder than to float or clasp the nearest rock and say that this is now my truth' a nice little half rhyme too.
Not too didactic either which is quite a feat for a poem about truth
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| Re: Ecohippie by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
9-Oct-03/7:35 AM |
'I curse my parents for sending me,
To a respectable school.'
Too true
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| Re: Afraid by Brittanyy |
2-Oct-03/7:53 AM |
Heard the story many times before.
'The one who once would have died for me now
Dies before me...'
stood out, a nice play on words which is more than you get from most poems.
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| Re: the way things are goin' by irishfolksuicide |
2-Oct-03/7:34 AM |
Ten witnesses; one, to stretch the ten seconds.
It is reckoned ten leaps, to let a long drag
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| Re: The Light by the_unknown_angel83 |
25-Sep-03/1:00 PM |
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like the transcription of an adolescent hissy fit.
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| Re: Here I go again by tadpole |
25-Sep-03/12:57 PM |
Not too much that could be criticised by DA's mediocre poetry chart here. In that sense this is refreshing.
Nothing to really grab but pleasant as a summers day.
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| Re: Your Inner Ear by razorgrin |
25-Sep-03/12:54 PM |
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yes, if only all science lessons were given in haiku, or vilanelle or tanka or the like. We could all be happy in the knowledge that we would never have to go to english class again.
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| Re: "I post here cause I have a lot of readers" by Bachus |
25-Sep-03/4:40 AM |
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Demonstrating such a wide understanding of different cultures
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| Re: body image by http://mulberryfairy |
25-Sep-03/4:33 AM |
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Kudos to you, you have the blue 1/10 before you even have the good marks this poem deserves.
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| Re: Little Girl by Pervy Elf |
25-Sep-03/4:31 AM |
ok the go ahead little girl sets a very creepy tone.
You seem to switch from concerned (kind of) to the abuser 'blame everyone except yourself' though and it tales off a bit at the end could be snappier.
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| Re: Club by Beseech |
25-Sep-03/4:28 AM |
pretty enough, well put together.
Not sure there is much in the way of insight to grab the writer though
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| Re: The War Jesse Owen style by oldschool |
25-Sep-03/4:26 AM |
Well put together and all that but this seems too political.
There is no emotion, the best war poem line I have read is ' red lips are not so red/ as the stained stones kissed/ by the english dead- wilfred owen.
Because it communicated something, is apolitical.
This is a bit too dogmatic
Well hung together though
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| Re: education by richa |
22-Jul-03/1:45 PM |
Who gave me 4 for this? the same who gave five for my other.... and then ran away?
the least you can do is comment
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| Re: Performer by http://mulberryfairy |
12-Jul-03/11:59 AM |
coming back to the bus driver again doesnt relly work.
other than that I liked the bit about interuption of bus ride hush. And the first verse packs a lot of context in
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