Free verse № 66795
Little Girl
Go ahead, Little girl
Cut yourself again.
Watch your life fade away
Until the pain is gone.
You don't know how to feel anymore, do you?
Go ahead, Little girl
Cry once more.
Only at night, where none can see-
None can see you hurt.
The tear stains are hidden then.
Hidden, like your heart.
Go ahead, Little girl
Take one last look before He leaves.
"It's better this way," He says.
Belive Him, one more time.
This is how it should be.
Go ahead, Little girl
Keep yourself shut away from everyone.
Shut away safe, from Him.
"This is wrong," you say.
"I never wanted things to be this way."
Go ahead, Little girl
Blame everyone but yourself.
You were too careless.
Too much trust, too much faith.
You cared too deeply.
Now look at you.
Go ahead, Little girl
Cut yourself again.
Maybe then He'll see the scars.
Maybe then He'll see the hurt.
And understand-
You're just a scared litlle girl,
With none left to turn to.
21 comments
I see where youre going but I don't follow.
BUT! Back to Him. Well, while the central figure in the poem is myself, the fact that the H is capitalized is supposed to give more impact and meaning to the guy. It's hard for me to explain. When read, one is supposed to get a sense of helplessness (is that even a word?) on the girls' behalf. She's trying to get the guy to notice and take stock of what he has done. Basically, take responsibility of his actions. I don't know, maybe that helps...?
...on the next Springer!!
Have a nice day.
You seem to switch from concerned (kind of) to the abuser 'blame everyone except yourself' though and it tales off a bit at the end could be snappier.
[_] About drugs
[X] About romantic love
[_] About writing
[X] About suicide or self-mutilation
[_] About the author's social pastimes
[_] Arbitrary indentation
[X] Arbitrary line breaks
[X] Autobiographical but written in the third person
[_] Clerical errors
[_] Clichéd imagery (gazing out of window, tears falling like rain)
[_] Clichéd rhymes (love/above, heart/apart)
[X] Clichéd angst words (putrid, wretched)
[X] Devoid of rhyme
[X] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, onomatopoeia)
[X] Devoid of other literary devices (simile, synaesthesia)
[X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery
[_] Ellipses used overabundantly
[_] Insipidly whimsical or zany
[_] Internet shorthand or emoticons
[_] Leaving rant
[_] Lower case only
[_] 'Lyrics'
[X] Melodramatic
[_] Naively religious or superstitious
[_] Obsessed with femininity
[_] Pointedly unanswered questions
[_] Rage against the machine
[_] Repetition of a word or phrase to the point of nausea
[_] Sanctimonious
[X] Self-obsessed
[_] Sentimental
[_] Smugly-named protagonist
[_] Thesaurophilia
[_] Untitled
[_] Vicarious wish fulfilment
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