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Club (Free verse) by Beseech
Club Nought but the rattling of drinks and the chitchat of guests. The gentle swaying of cords, blinds fully raised Flowers, white, vibrate with us all Two lapshades join in the fun Another just like ours, passes on our left As our forward facing view shows blue Two shades mix, a coastline appears Cliffs, and a beach fade into view, horses all around, appear and disappear A beacon too, and a ship Obscured by window frame, now appears Gentle rise, gentle fall Sway to the left, sway to the right. A village appears, upon the land white houses mixed in with the brown "A sight to see" says the club class waitress But I am not here I am gone

Up the ladder: cut yourself
Down the ladder: The Boxer

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5564
Posted: July 30, 2003 12:07 PM PDT; Last modified: September 25, 2003 2:44 AM PDT
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Comments:
[1] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.115 | 30-Jul-03/3:02 PM | Reply
Love the word chitchat (I think it is one word), but the rest of the poem is rather trite. You need many more beers before you can write about bars with any meaning. Quit doing ecstasy; it is bad for you.
[n/a] Beseech @ 213.208.105.141 > poetandknowit | 1-Aug-03/7:39 AM | Reply
You FUCKER! Its a club LOUNGE!!! NOT a bar! I got bored on the ferry to france. I know its shite. I dont do ecstasy like you. Im not a sheep shagging whore fucking shit pile
[6] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.66 > Beseech | 25-Sep-03/4:32 AM | Reply
Was there any lounge jazz playing?
[n/a] Beseech @ 81.6.253.188 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 25-Sep-03/11:44 AM | Reply
fraid not :( sorry dude
[6] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 195.92.67.209 > Beseech | 25-Sep-03/3:40 PM | Reply
Denied!
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > poetandknowit | 2-Aug-03/12:00 PM | Reply
Yep, I'm with you on that observation, pk.

Also, Beseech, rattle is only "wrattle", if you've got the vulva of a lamb, but the head of a jackass.
[7] irishfolksuicide @ 81.178.226.84 | 25-Sep-03/4:28 AM | Reply
pretty enough, well put together.

Not sure there is much in the way of insight to grab the writer though
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