Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Boxer (Free verse) by DreamerSupreme
My bloody eyes stare at your sweating shadow. I feel your fists turn my face into a Picasso painting. I stand waiting for you to tire, so I can deliver my blow to your ribs and push the air out your lungs. You didn't see that coming, launching my fist to your pretty cheek, making your knees feel weak. I bet you never knew that an old man like me could stand while your soft hands deep massage my body into nothingness. Child, you thought you were wild, But I am the master waiting patiently, while you do your best to prove yourself when I've already proven everything. You scream into the air, falling face first to the ground and the last sound I heard was your whimpering. The last image you saw was my Picasso face smiling.

Up the ladder: Club
Down the ladder: Easter Egg Soup

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5566
Posted: August 26, 2003 6:49 PM PDT; Last modified: August 26, 2003 6:49 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] Lie2MePinnochio @ 66.124.226.221 | 27-Aug-03/12:27 AM | Reply
Don't bring Picasso into this...he's a lover, not a fighter!
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.162.180 > Lie2MePinnochio | 27-Aug-03/1:19 AM | Reply
you are a fucking moron.. have you ever seen a picasso painting idiot??? eh? notice how the faces are uneven, all fucked up, out of place? hrmmm? AYE? picasso has nothing to do with this you idiot, its one of my unique ways of describing something you twit.. and you give me a low score because you THINK picasso was a lover, and not a fighter?

HOW do you know that btw? do you know picasso personally aye?
go rot in hell shitface.
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.18.120 > Lie2MePinnochio | 27-Aug-03/11:07 AM | Reply
Picasso was an egocentic pig who beat and abused his women on a continuous basis. Lover, schmover.
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.168.209 > god'swife | 27-Aug-03/6:08 PM | Reply
hrmm.. isnt that ironic.. ;)
[n/a] god'swife @ 67.73.18.120 | 27-Aug-03/11:13 AM | Reply
You can do better. It builds well but you can write better then this. It wouldn't take much to make this a good strong poem. Just take a look, I mean some of the errors are blantant. No one talks the way you're character talks, and in poetry it suppose to be idealized. Which this is not. Pretend you're character is smarter than you, more sophisticated. What the fuck, I'm wasting my time even trying to get through o you morons. Ciao.
[4] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > god'swife | 27-Aug-03/11:16 AM | Reply
mrs.g!
come to poetry and beer with me next wednesday. it will mean flying to CT, but, what the hell, it will be worth it, right? hatter's hare and rusty, and maybe knickytoy are going too.
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.168.209 > god'swife | 27-Aug-03/6:11 PM | Reply
wasting your time? i dont think so. your comment was worth something, to me anyway. thank you.
[8] Caducus @ 195.92.168.165 | 27-Nov-03/1:58 AM | Reply
Liked the Picasso reference in S1 and the unrelenting mood of violence you have created, makes me want to kill the bastard.
Good stuff
242 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001