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Ecohippie (Sonnet) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
Uninformed yet opinionated, Arrogant and pious, These are things I'll never be, Nor stubborn or self righteous. Stop going out and getting drunk, Stop watching your TV, Stop driving 'round in your fast car, You fascists should be more like me. 'Cause I know how to run the world, (I read a book about Karl Marx,) There's not a lot that I don't know, The sun it shines out of my arse. Ten pounds can feed a thousand orphans, But I went one better than that, I spent three grand to fly to peru, And live in a ramshackle shack. And on my gap year to Mozambique, I ate raw sheep's eyes and locusts, I always dine on authentic cuisine, Not the shit that they sell to the tourists. I'm artistic, creative and soulful, I'm sharp and so very cool, I curse my parents for sending me, To a respectable school.

Down the ladder: As the Redwood Ages

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.7391305
Weighted score: 5.7258363
Overall Rank: 1874
Posted: October 9, 2003 7:22 AM PDT; Last modified: October 9, 2003 7:22 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] irishfolksuicide @ 81.178.215.114 | 9-Oct-03/7:35 AM | Reply
'I curse my parents for sending me,
To a respectable school.'

Too true
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.227 > irishfolksuicide | 9-Oct-03/7:41 AM | Reply
Were you at Windsor or Eton?
[n/a] Johnnie Baptiste @ 195.157.153.253 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 15-Oct-03/4:14 AM | Reply
I was at Royal Grammar School, Amersham, High Wycombe, Bucks.

Where did you go to school?
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.227 > Johnnie Baptiste | 15-Oct-03/9:10 AM | Reply
There is no Royal Grammar School, Amersham, High Wycombe, Bucks. For a start, Amersham is not contained within High Wycombe, although Amersham Road does run through it.
[n/a] Tits @ 195.157.153.253 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 15-Oct-03/9:13 AM | Reply
Yes, silly me, I missed out the word "Road".

I am such a dunce!
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.221 > Tits | 16-Oct-03/8:05 AM | Reply
That was your one fatal mistake, 195.157.153.253.
Confound you pesky kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111

LOLTTM
OK, I think it's time I came clean. My name is David Shirt, and I live in Braintree in Essex, England. I live alone with my deceased wife, Mary, and my two sons Steven and Norris. They get bullied at school, but they are very special to me. My hobbies are swimming and football.
[5] ==Doylum @ 80.225.174.125 | 9-Oct-03/7:45 AM | Reply
Gosh I hate that asswell!!!!111
The sun shines out my arks of golden wonder too
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG MY GANG MY GANG
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG OH YEA
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG MY GANG MY GANG
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG OH YEA
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG MY GANG MY GANG
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG OH YEA

Oh alright then
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.221 > ==Doylum | 12-Oct-03/5:01 PM | Reply
From where can I obtain an application form?
[5] ==Doylum @ 80.225.182.3 > ?-Dave_Mysterious-? | 29-Oct-03/5:27 PM | Reply
There is no application form. BIG Gerwl.
You simply wander round with your arms round your gangs members shoulders and chant

Who wants to play army NO GIRLS
The addendum would obviously preclude you ?-Dave_Mysterious-? from joining
GIRL
[n/a] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? @ 163.1.234.221 > ==Doylum | 29-Oct-03/5:53 PM | Reply
If you were here now, I would chase you round with a worm and say it was a bloodsucker. Then we would see who was the Gyrwirl.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 9-Oct-03/8:00 AM | Reply
Me too.
[10] Stephen Robins @ 213.253.24.101 | 9-Oct-03/8:07 AM | Reply
Very good.

There once was a Goldsmith called Zac,
Who carried his wealth in a sack,
He sympathised a lot
With those who had not
He ended up painting himself black.
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.119.105 | 9-Oct-03/8:32 AM | Reply
i so cracked up at the last 2 lines of S4.

very modest but my mark sir is not - 8
[8] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.51 | 9-Oct-03/12:34 PM | Reply
Nice!

Flows really well, is entertaining - the timing of the ending is perfect.

a small nit: dumpt the "that" after "shit" and the "the" after "to" as in "Not the shit they sell to tourists."
[1] Mister Cakes @ 203.185.240.46 | 15-Oct-03/4:08 AM | Reply
Ambiguity is the face mischief
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