Re: Afterwards, when there's just you and the snow and the trees by somemorepoetry	15-Dec-04/10:45 PM
I actually found this quite interesting and poetic although I have to wonder just exactly where it is supposed to be. I will read it again.
Re: Tiredness by kawakurdi	15-Dec-04/12:35 AM
Interesting, 'snaps' seems wrong somehow. Do try and cheer up.
Re: exercise by JoyLuck	15-Dec-04/12:33 AM
A poem that passes judgement on itself is a novelty, if not a very good one.
Re: a comment on Forsaken Love by Blue Magpie	15-Dec-04/12:29 AM
Thanks for your comments, I am sorry you are unable to see what the poem is about, but please don't assume that because you haven't seen something yet that it doesn't exist, this is a route that prohibits learning
Re: Peptalk in the Dugout by Dovina	14-Dec-04/5:17 AM
A nice read, I think it is batter's box however. Personally I think it would be more catching with rhymes, but then I am biased.
Re: You and Me at Boulder Lake by jessicazee	14-Dec-04/5:13 AM
I liked the last 1.5 lines the best. The toenail of God doesn't seem to harmonise, and I fail to understand why most of the line breaks are where they are. But it was an interesting read.
Re: The Grey Prince Of Gulls by Caducus	14-Dec-04/1:58 AM
Some interesting imagery
Re: Solitude by Dovina	13-Sep-04/10:02 PM
Dear Dovina, While this is obviously a pretty picture the language usage does not appear to be very poetic to meeither in its use of metaphor etc, or in its imagery presentation, and there is not rhyme or rhythm. "A picture in Phi" what does this offer us phi "Φ" being the 21st letter of the Greek alphabet, the Greek equivalent of "F", a circle with a line through it, doesn't inspire me with images relevent to seashells or hermit crabs or solitude. So I am sorry but I just don't see the poetry here, just prose.
Re: Eurydice by unknown	11-Sep-04/10:22 PM
This would make a nice song actually
Re: a comment on Edges by Blue Magpie	8-Sep-04/10:41 PM
Hi Wilco, Thanks for the welcome. Its been a while since I have visited here, or anywhere. I have rewritten the above a good deal since posting it, although the more intelligent feedback came from elsewhere.
Re: New Year by emilyowey	8-Sep-04/5:57 AM
Perhaps a touch self-pitying and a little open to personal interpretation, vagueness and subtlety are not the same thing.
Re: New Year by emilyowey	8-Sep-04/5:57 AM
Perhaps a touch self-pitying and a little open to personal interpretation, vagueness and subtlety are not the same thing.
Re: New Year by emilyowey	8-Sep-04/5:57 AM
Perhaps a touch self-pitying and a little open to personal interpretation, vagueness and subtlety are not the same thing.
Re: Sunrise by TLRufener	8-Sep-04/5:52 AM
The line "Once more I sleep none" is so ungrammatic it pretty much ruins the rest of the poem, some punctuation would also help.
Re: Director's Cut by New Life Drug	6-Sep-04/7:37 AM
Dear NLD, It is very nice to see something positive being said. As a poem however this lacks that something extra in language usage to really raise it above prose. Also things like we were standing.... when suddenly you appeared, as there are really only the two of you in this story one is left wondering who the first we applies to if 'you' were not there, or how you could have been there and then appeared. All told I think you have a core here but you need to work on it some. Cut, prune and shape it a bit.
Re: a comment on Edges by Blue Magpie	6-Sep-04/7:30 AM
Sliver, Thanks for stopping by, and for enjoying thepoem, it is not finished, I am working on another stanza now relating to belief.
Re: a comment on Edges by Blue Magpie	6-Sep-04/7:29 AM
Dear Dovina, Thank you for your kind words. However the criticism is a bit vague, could you possibly tell me exactly where you think I have sacrificed meaning for prose. The same goes for the comment on follow-through for rhythm, but I also have difficulty knowing what you mean by follow-through, previous to this I have only heard the term used in sports training, tennis etc.
Re: Stand Up For Yourself !!! by Brandy_n_Cali	5-Sep-04/9:58 PM
Further more you have not really said anything new, which means you have to say it in a memorable way to make your effort worth while, communication and especially poetry is not just ideas in words, but ideas/feelings in words that are well used, shaped and polished like a gem until they shine.
Re: A Poem by BigB	5-Sep-04/9:54 PM
I also think a better title, or more clarification in the poem would be in order.
Re: The Conqueror Worm by zodiac	5-Sep-04/9:53 AM
Spreading Sturm und drang across two lines looks very poor, you ae breaking aconcept where no concept should be broken, still there is some nice imagery here, made me remember being an undergraduate.