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You and Me at Boulder Lake (Free verse) by jessicazee
First a berry stain on your pine needled sole and you just say "Look at the fire I made" It's a quick death, a campfired moth. Ash so light, wings disappear flying, dying again toward the canopy. "The crescent moon is a toenail of God" The meteors were last night, mulberry trees whisper, "please shake us we need to let things go"

Up the ladder: Spit Factor
Down the ladder: Lost (not a poem)

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.089402
Overall Rank: 6341
Posted: December 13, 2004 10:46 PM PST; Last modified: December 13, 2004 10:46 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.118 | 14-Dec-04/5:13 AM | Reply
I liked the last 1.5 lines the best. The toenail of God doesn't seem to harmonise, and I fail to understand why most of the line breaks are where they are. But it was an interesting read.
[9] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.159.205.130 | 14-Dec-04/8:57 AM | Reply
Haven't been camping for 40 years but this resonates. It is one of 'those' moments that can happen anywhere when you are with 'that' person. Here in LA it could happen at the Mark Taper, in S.F at 'the baths' or in Texas at a barbeque. It needs a bit of tightening to be a -10-.
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