regarding some deleted poem...	26-Feb-06/11:26 PM
repel not repell
Re: Empty Chronicles by Scarlett	27-Feb-06/2:44 AM
Not really my sort of poetry so I can't realy comment on whether it is any good or not, but it seems that a few more commas could be useful, and as a graecophile I would rather Athina than Minerva, but this is just my personal belief that the Greeks were more artistic that the Romans.
Re: isomers by skaskowski	1-Mar-06/12:14 AM
The first stanza is better than the 2nd, but I would really like to see some capitalisation at the beginning of the sentences.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Mar-06/12:22 AM
Interesting, I think a little more punctuation would improve it however.
Re: Whalecrack by wlshepherd	1-Mar-06/12:27 AM
I must concur with Terbenaw, this appears to have taken 2 minutes to write and has nothing to offer the reader.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Mar-06/12:31 AM
Dear Terbenaw, I don't know your age, and I don't wish to be insulting but this comes across as very amateurish, the basic message is OK, but as poetry it is uninspiring.
Re: Pain by terbenaw	1-Mar-06/12:39 AM
This is a mixed bag, although easy to relate to, Try to see the world as I see it through my eyes This is undoubtedly the worst lne in the poem, You should either say Try to see the world through me eyes. or Try to see the world as I see it. But given how many people see it similarly you could try Try and see the world how we see it, etc.
Re: Pelted with stones on the common by Bobjim	1-Mar-06/11:29 PM
The ending is a bit weak.
Re: Wondering by Bobjim	2-Mar-06/11:25 PM
Makes you wonder doesn't it.
Re: tic toc by skaskowski	4-Mar-06/4:27 AM
There is real potential in the first stanza and the first line of the second, but you seem to through it away after that.
Re: Last flight of a goose by Bobjim	10-Mar-06/5:03 AM
I would have said 'the goose' as this is more emphatic
Re: Teaching Beetles To Swim by Bobjim	10-Mar-06/5:08 AM
The last verse is a little surprising, because thousands of species of beetles already know how to swim, in fact many spend their whole lives swimming. Apart from this it was funny and well turned out.
Re: Emo Kid by Fayt	11-Mar-06/12:01 AM
It works.
Re: The jessiness of Jess by Bobjim	11-Mar-06/11:59 PM
What is 'the jessiness of Jess' in not understanding this the whole poem becomes merely words.
Re: i want to know how the japanese type by hendrimike	12-Mar-06/10:44 PM
Well I don't want to see Brokeback Mountain either, but the poem could do with a little more thought, some rhyme or rhythm, or beautiful language.
Re: Desolation by Beyond_Dreams	13-Mar-06/10:58 PM
I think it would be much stronger if you left out the line Because I've matured, the rest is quite nice.
Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT	13-Mar-06/11:07 PM
hums and whirrs and tinks a sconce The two 'ands' stand out a bit unpleasantly, I would also agree that that the anthropomorphism of the inanimate is a a bit distracting, especially 'adoringly'. It just doesn't seem very floorish, anyway if floors adore anything its plush carpet not the people who walk on it. Perhaps what you really have hear is a temporal throughback from the future, and echoe of the house where every part has its own personality, such as the doors somewhere in The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy
Re: Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	13-Mar-06/11:18 PM
The poem has a certain music to it, but the discussion---don't any of you people have anything else to do?
Re: The Devil's Carnival by Ranger	13-Mar-06/11:22 PM
Generally speaking I found it well written, but Crashing down, worried me, it seems just not quite right.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Feb-07/11:38 AM
I liked the last two lines