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Teaching Beetles To Swim (Free verse) by Bobjim
Taught the old cockroach to dance. Folk said I hadn't a chance. But hours with a stick, For once did the trick, And soon I will open a ranch. Taught the old bedbugs to sing. Folk said it's not the real thing. But experts agree, That it's them sing (not me), And it's done without aid of a string. Taught the old deathwatch to jive. Folk said that can't be alive. It's all an illusion. Please stop this confusion. Wait still for the van to arrive. At last I taught beetles to swim. Through methods perplexing and grim. I sat up all night, Till they all got it right, And some grew quite handsome and slim. Beautiful things, beetles.

Down the ladder: tullip

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7484
Posted: October 27, 2003 11:55 AM PST; Last modified: October 27, 2003 11:55 AM PST
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The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:


[6] SupremeDreamer @ | 27-Oct-03/4:37 PM | Reply
Frankly, i hate insects.. for no reason either, but i respect some, untill they get near me and drive me to conduct a murder of bugs. I should do some self therapy perhaps, and find out why they bother me.. maybe one crawled near my diaper as a kid, or whatever.

ok, onto the subject at hand:

This needs to be edited a bit.. looks rough to me.

6 for now, toodles.
[n/a] fair12 @ | 28-Oct-03/8:04 AM | Reply
I think this title is great...
[9] <~> @ | 28-Oct-03/8:29 AM | Reply
i enjoyed this more than anything i have read here in months. thank you.

only one line interfered with my pleasure:

"That it's them sing (not me),"

i thing should be reanimated to:

It's them that sing, (not me),

[n/a] Ranger @ | 15-Feb-06/6:44 AM | Reply
Is this yours?
[n/a] Bobjim @ > Ranger | 15-Feb-06/6:50 AM | Reply
As with all my poems, it's mine unless and until someone points out that it isn't.
[8] Blue Magpie @ | 10-Mar-06/5:08 AM | Reply
The last verse is a little surprising, because thousands of species of beetles already know how to swim, in fact many spend their whole lives swimming.

Apart from this it was funny and well turned out.

[n/a] Bobjim @ > Blue Magpie | 10-Mar-06/5:13 AM | Reply
Clearly my methods need not have been quite so perplexing and grim then.
[n/a] deleted user @ | 20-Mar-08/4:19 AM | Reply
This poem was written by Robert Rankin. You've just copied it you fraud
[0] deleted user @ | 20-Mar-08/5:40 AM | Reply
You have stolen this poem from Robert Rankin and attempted to pass it off as your own work.

[n/a] Bobjim @ > deleted user | 24-Mar-08/9:19 AM | Reply
I've frequently confessed to plagiarism and yet you still felt the need to create a special account just to point it out over and over again. Even on poems where it's been pointed out by other people and I've admitted it. Just a few lines up I've said that I only claim poems are mine until someone spots that they aren't.

Which makes you a stupid loser with too much time on your hands.
[n/a] deleted user @ > Bobjim | 25-Mar-08/5:49 PM | Reply
bobjim, this poem is brilliant, all people ask is that you say who its by, in the first instance, credit where credit is due, which is something you've failed to do time and time again.

whoever this person is, and whatever they hold dear to them, doesn't make them a 'stupid loser', and neither does being passionate about the things they like - they simply see you ripping of something they appreciate as your own, 'till someone points out differently' and they react. The only stupid losers here are those pawning something as theirs when it is clearly not.

if you have enough time on your hands to type all this stuff out, copying fromk books, and yet don't have the simple courtesy of writting the authors name at the end, then look in the mirror the next time you want to call some one a stupid loser with too much time on their hands, then take a long hard look in the mirror and see that loser looking right back at you.

get real Bobjim, i'm sure these guys could push a pretty heavy law-suit your way for this kind of bull.... and i'm sure that a credible authors' publishers carry a little more punch than a worthless hack like you can handle.

just own up is all these guys are saying, chill out and give credit where credit is due, you can't carry on hiding behind pointless excuses and bitching.

get a life, get a job, and write your own stuff dude.
[n/a] deleted user @ | 25-Mar-08/7:50 PM | Reply
I only see one "stupid loser" on this page, and it's not the fans pointing out the facts.

Yeah yeah, you keep admitting to plagiarising, so that makes it ok, yes? Well, actually no it doesn't.

Theft is theft is theft.
[n/a] Christof @ | 27-Mar-08/9:15 AM | Reply
What is the point of repeatedly posting the work of Robert Rankin? Unless you are Robert Rankin, which it seems you're not. You probably think it's funny or postmodern or clever. It's only one of those three things, and post-modernism is just so old-fashioned these days. Don't you know that post-post-modernism has already given way to proto-neo-millenarianism?
[0] Dark Angle @ | 4-Apr-08/1:11 AM | Reply
Ok, the Rankin guy isn't even that wonderful to begin with, why would anyone copy his crap? Isn't there some sort of person that, oh, you know, administrates this site or something, that should have the power to say, delete this user?! What's going on here?!
[0] Dark Angle @ | 4-Apr-08/1:15 AM | Reply
And besides, what sort of person would plagiarize poetry on some unknown corner of the web?!? Obviously he has autism or some other sort of mental illness. Maybe you guys should just leave him alone, or beat and rape him with sticks like they did in the good old days... I don't really care.
[n/a] deleted user @ > Dark Angle | 21-Apr-08/6:17 PM | Reply
FWIW, Autism is not a mental illness. People with Autism are not retarded, either, before you try that one.

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