Taught the old cockroach to dance. Folk said I hadn't a chance. But hours with a stick, For once did the trick, And soon I will open a ranch. Taught the old bedbugs to sing. Folk said it's not the real thing. But experts agree, That it's them sing (not me), And it's done without aid of a string. Taught the old deathwatch to jive. Folk said that can't be alive. It's all an illusion. Please stop this confusion. Wait still for the van to arrive. At last I taught beetles to swim. Through methods perplexing and grim. I sat up all night, Till they all got it right, And some grew quite handsome and slim. Beautiful things, beetles.