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tic toc (Free verse) by skaskowski
tick tock. tic tac. rewind. relapse. rewrap, give back. tick tock. tic tac. it's the gift that keeps on giving. simply pop the top and relive that memory. just be aware that your doppleganger might get a green twinge of jealousy. buy this from me. tick tock. tic tac. unlock. give back. rewind, rewrap. tick tock. tic tac. pop the top and relive that memory. simply buy this from me. buy this from me. just be aware that i've marked your bills. they're only good once. they're only good one time. tick tock, tic tac. unwind. lay back. rewind. relapse. tick tock, tic tac.

Up the ladder: Jai guru deva om
Down the ladder: Story remains the same

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Weighted score: 4.928861
Overall Rank: 9233
Posted: March 4, 2006 12:38 AM PST; Last modified: March 4, 2006 12:38 AM PST
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Comments:
[7] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.2 | 4-Mar-06/4:27 AM | Reply
There is real potential in the first stanza and the first line of the second, but you seem to through it away after that.
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