DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

isomers

Member since 2001 · Posted 28 Feb 2006 · 5 comments

lost inside a solid stone, the wall around an aqua-dome. my opinion: undeterred and my decisions: unobserved. make the same mistake twice just for the hell of it. what's a reminder without parallel scars?

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5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

5 comments

[n/a] Blue Magpie 1-Mar-06/12:14 AM Reply

The first stanza is better than the 2nd, but I would really like to see some capitalisation at the beginning of the sentences.

[7] Ranger 1-Mar-06/9:08 AM Reply

I'd prefer to see stanza 2 keep a constant rhythm with stanza 1. I do like the idea of this, though.

[2] LilMsLadyPoet 1-Mar-06/10:10 AM Reply

I like the first stanza...alot! then the 2nd...AWwww...man...this had the potential to go a long way. My suggestion? scratch out the last stanza, stash it in a pile somewhere, and then rediscover it sometime in the future, when you will be inspired to write more...and the cerebral climax it calls for! 9 on the first stanza. hmm...2nd...use it in another realistic and ironic piece.

[6] Dovina 2-Mar-06/3:59 PM Reply

The last verse is a heart-felt prayer of metaphoric rockheadedness, offered in contrition and deep appreciation for a Creator of stones and brains in parallel. The others commenting here should be ashamed of themselves for missing it.

[n/a] skaskowski › Dovina 4-Mar-06/12:16 AM Reply

either thanks for sort of getting it or thanks for patronizing me. either way, thanks.