| Re: The Bomb by anitawit |
9-Nov-02/1:53 PM |
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This is pretty good. I hope your "grey cells" aren't cancerous or infectious or anything.
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| Re: candela by poetic-chaos |
9-Nov-02/1:41 PM |
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Assuming this is ending on a positive note, I like it.
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| Re: Plastic People by cosmiccantinaguy |
9-Nov-02/1:37 PM |
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Well, there goes my theory about bums having the most freedom! HA! What was I thinking? 8 for your eye-poking the rich and "synthetic infection"
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| Re: Search of Love by loneshadow29 |
9-Nov-02/1:18 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-02/7:10 AM |
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Well, shit. I didn't realize just how much repetetive stuff I had jammed into this. One last edit before I exhaust my energy on this. Gotta see zzinnia about another piece. Thanks Christof.
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| Re: Some Things by Christof |
7-Nov-02/6:46 AM |
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Boy are the girls gonna love this! I see what you mean about compressing lines together. I think I can afford to do that. Oh how I wish I could relate to all that goes on here. I can read though, I suppose that gives me an advantage. Nice work, as usual. I forgot that libraries can be sensual.(Thanks N.J.) Gotta work on my piece about an old building I "loved" when I was younger. Interestins swap of characters here too. I'll round up.
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-02/6:16 AM |
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Thanks, it still needs editing? Less is more? Gotta make some calls. Back in a minute.
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-02/6:09 AM |
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Question: Did you see the 1st draft before all the comments?
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-02/6:05 AM |
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Wow! Feed back a go-go! Hang on. Gotta think a minute.
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
7-Nov-02/6:03 AM |
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Ok I did some shuffeling, some deletions but I replaced the "tortured" line. It feels better even to me now. Your opinion?
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
6-Nov-02/6:40 PM |
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Christ! Sorry to have wasted your time. I'm not near as educated as you seem to be. I'm a long haul truck driver and this is what it feels like to return home to my wonderful wife after 6-8 weeks gone. I do appreciate the info and comments. How else would I improve?
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
6-Nov-02/6:18 PM |
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Delete everything from the caps down? Why I ask? For educational purposes please.
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| Re: a comment on Returning by INTRANSIT |
6-Nov-02/6:12 PM |
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For what it's worth, I edited. Redundancy bit me in the ass. Revote?
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| Re: everyone sucks. by kliq |
6-Nov-02/5:47 AM |
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I like the message. I think it could use some dressing up though.
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| Re: You'll Never Hear by confuzdlilgirl |
5-Nov-02/3:25 PM |
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It's good to feel, but don't let it consume you. Walk with us, slowly, and you'll be fine. Both pieces are emotionally saturated. You have pattern and rythm though, something I struggle for. 5/5
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| Re: OUR FUTURE? by kliq |
5-Nov-02/3:16 PM |
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Then I guess you'd better go outside and play while you still can. I don't know about you, but I aint givin up my spirit. I like pickles anyway. For the effort...
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| Re: a comment on bad boy taylor by rosiebailey |
4-Nov-02/12:17 PM |
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| Re: Stranger by feathers68 |
4-Nov-02/12:15 PM |
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um, stanza 2 was repetetive of stanza 1 I thought. the word "pain" bugged me. Great theme I'd agree, and zzinnia's right too. It'll help deepen your work.
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| Re: Got Balls? by Yardbird |
4-Nov-02/12:00 PM |
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I don't care if this has value or not. I laughed till my face stiffened. Value enough for me.
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| Re: arise by daniella |
4-Nov-02/11:56 AM |
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Well assembled too, I might add. Nothing like a boost in the right direction, either.
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