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Stranger (Other) by feathers68 There is a stranger in my soul,
she resides there with confidence,
buried under miles of pain.
There is a stranger in my heart,
looking out at me,
through pain her heart twists
and carries on.
There is a stranger in the
mirror her name is dementia
and she doesn't recognise her
image and how she got old.
Up the ladder:
The silent moon
Down the ladder:
Beer
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: October 23, 2002 4:55 PM PDT; Last modified: November 2, 2002 9:54 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7498 Comments:
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Bachus @ 24.126.113.154
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23-Oct-02/5:06 PM
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lol. i think? or you could be the devil? forget about it.
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feathers68 @ 216.209.172.55
> Bachus
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2-Nov-02/9:56 AM
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I think you are not seeing the deeper picture to this poem and that it is about how dementia takes it's tole on the soul.but interesting take on things from your point of view. Are you the devil?
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daniella @ 200.61.42.54
> feathers68
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2-Nov-02/5:58 PM
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meet bacchus. the whirling scurvish of a life gone so sour dog wild with pain he sleeps with the sisters Dementia and Pain.
barried -> buried?
Otherwise, well done.
Cool! thanks for the corection! I am not the best speller in the world. I am hoping to run into a poem of yours.
From Karen/feathers68
dementia? Oh please
I have some very sad news to report to you all. Horus8 has smoked himself retarded. His poems and comments might seem a bit confusing from now on.
you sir, are a liar...at my incredible rate of thinking and connecting secret invisible filaments to other more highly sensitive and even more secret invisible filaments..do you honestly think it would make a difference how much pot i smoked..maybe by the time your thirty i'll be as stupid as you are smart (we will have met half way) huh! HUH! WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN? ah yeah old poeople with dementia listen..karen is it? if you genuinely are taking care of old people and it's effecting you in a way reminiscent of a mid life crisis, and forcing you to write poetry about the experience...congradulations. if not. you will burn in hell, and i'll be the one to take you there. otherwise..i'm sorry forgive me, go back to your bed pan cleaning and i'll fricken send myself to hell.thankyou for being understanding, and not taking me too seriously, but i will have you know my grandmother raised me. i happen to love old people just as much as pot or sex or anything else important like drinking and making sure the sheep are safe...so. there. what were we talking about again..ah yeah..lunch time!e
thematically interesting...it would really pack a punch with more images for the reader...the old "show don't tell" applies....how could you show a confident soul? what image might evoke that? is there a way to show her questioning herself without telling us?
Very good. it really tells how we see ourselves when we try to find what we are about.
why don't you introduce yourself to her?
um, stanza 2 was repetetive of stanza 1 I thought. the word "pain" bugged me. Great theme I'd agree, and zzinnia's right too. It'll help deepen your work.
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