| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Dec-03/3:40 PM |
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I didn't see the first draft so.... I think you can drop st 1 and 3 and it'll flu just fine. 1 and 3 sound rather narrative and out of place.
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| Re: The Vagabond by Caducus |
31-Dec-03/6:32 AM |
Something for a nothing in everyones' nowhere. Brilliant. Small nits. I would make the leaves and wind
whos, they are accompanyment to the man. I don't like the duplicitous rain, unless it has specific meaning, explain? (Crib)is slang for house in America find something else please. I'm totally lost with the crownings. Sorry. "Jettison of the richer man" also brilliant. And I liked the use of mackintosh. I don't mind going to the dictionary at all. Even for this small stuff, the gross of it is velly goot, yah.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Dec-03/6:39 AM |
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Did this start as an actual Mad libs thing ? Kudos for taking something you might usually see kids playing with and giving it a try in the adult world. I think it actually works. Maybe it's no Picasso, but it certainly entertains. Kudos for the risk factor.
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| Re: The burlesque circus clown [revised] by Don-Quixote |
31-Dec-03/6:44 AM |
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Whew. I thought I was the only buffon here. ha! Needs tweaks. Verbalize with volume and you'll find them. high nines.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Dec-03/6:54 AM |
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Simple. Simple is good. jsp?id=67469-Trapped in a horseshoe.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Dec-03/2:04 PM |
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and it's always the "adults" teaching the children, when it otter be the other way 'round, eh?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Jan-04/12:38 PM |
I'd prefer S-4,L-4 (as) my face is starting to burn.
And what's with S-3 and its' 1-1,2-2 rhyme? Other than those minor things, I say to hell with christmas altogether.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
1-Jan-04/2:29 PM |
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I do hope you've sent out "whilst the bells ring".
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| Re: How to spend New Years in denial by Bachus |
1-Jan-04/5:06 PM |
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Were Roman baths an early version of ethnic cleansing?
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| Re: Just For Two by Blindpoetry |
1-Jan-04/5:08 PM |
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| Re: Pawn by Blindpoetry |
2-Jan-04/6:05 AM |
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Also, take the time to read comments on other poems you read. If something a writer said sparks your interest, follow it. The best part of poemranker is not necessarily the most recent poems posted. Roam the back halls. Study the graffiti. no vote
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| Re: Belabourin' Jack by middenHeap |
2-Jan-04/12:38 PM |
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Yup. That's the way the nut sac singes.
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| Re: O Death by lastobelus |
2-Jan-04/12:41 PM |
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I hope this doesn't get missed. I'm gonna take a few reads before I vote.
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| Re: Haikus for Nentwined by horus8 |
3-Jan-04/5:52 AM |
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Here here! And where is he these days? And his pops.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Jan-04/6:01 AM |
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I like stanzas 1,6,11. The rest sounds pimply. Unless you're hiding a villanelle in there. n/v
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Jan-04/6:37 AM |
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If the meaning of the holiday is so damn important, why is it only one day a year we treat people "nicely".
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| Re: The wise by richa |
3-Jan-04/12:52 PM |
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Liked the first run. This is better though.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
3-Jan-04/1:39 PM |
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Laid dung? He had sex with feces? Put this where it belongs. As an addendum to "child".
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| Re: Just-Average-Zongs-Zung by tralala42001 |
4-Jan-04/9:38 AM |
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Hmmm. Your moniker suggests something juvenile. Your topics don't. I would suggest combining this with the other (8 minutes). The good morning simply needs more material. Wear your safety belt. It can be a rough ride around these parts.
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| Re: He doesn't love me by tuthaliash |
4-Jan-04/10:36 AM |
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Really really good. Based on the fact that Tinty-G is your referrer, and this poem, I'd say you'll be moving on soon.
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