on some deleted poem
29 Dec 2003, 3:40 PM
I didn't see the first draft so.... I think you can drop st 1 and 3 and it'll flu just fine. 1 and 3 sound rather narrative and out of place.
on The Vagabond by Caducus
31 Dec 2003, 6:32 AM
Something for a nothing in everyones' nowhere. Brilliant. Small nits. I would make the leaves and wind
whos, they are accompanyment to the man. I don't like the duplicitous rain, unless it has specific meaning, explain? (Crib)is slang for house in America find something else please. I'm totally lost with the crownings. Sorry. "Jettison of the richer man" also brilliant. And I liked the use of mackintosh. I don't mind going to the dictionary at all. Even for this small stuff, the gross of it is velly goot, yah.
whos, they are accompanyment to the man. I don't like the duplicitous rain, unless it has specific meaning, explain? (Crib)is slang for house in America find something else please. I'm totally lost with the crownings. Sorry. "Jettison of the richer man" also brilliant. And I liked the use of mackintosh. I don't mind going to the dictionary at all. Even for this small stuff, the gross of it is velly goot, yah.
on some deleted poem
31 Dec 2003, 6:39 AM
Did this start as an actual Mad libs thing ? Kudos for taking something you might usually see kids playing with and giving it a try in the adult world. I think it actually works. Maybe it's no Picasso, but it certainly entertains. Kudos for the risk factor.
on The burlesque circus clown [revised] by Don-Quixote
31 Dec 2003, 6:44 AM
Whew. I thought I was the only buffon here. ha! Needs tweaks. Verbalize with volume and you'll find them. high nines.
on some deleted poem
31 Dec 2003, 6:54 AM
Simple. Simple is good. jsp?id=67469-Trapped in a horseshoe.
on some deleted poem
31 Dec 2003, 2:04 PM
and it's always the "adults" teaching the children, when it otter be the other way 'round, eh?
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2004, 12:38 PM
I'd prefer S-4,L-4 (as) my face is starting to burn.
And what's with S-3 and its' 1-1,2-2 rhyme? Other than those minor things, I say to hell with christmas altogether.
And what's with S-3 and its' 1-1,2-2 rhyme? Other than those minor things, I say to hell with christmas altogether.
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2004, 2:29 PM
I do hope you've sent out "whilst the bells ring".
on How to spend New Years in denial by Bachus
1 Jan 2004, 5:06 PM
Were Roman baths an early version of ethnic cleansing?
on Just For Two by Blindpoetry
1 Jan 2004, 5:08 PM
Sharp. like a Manatee.
on Pawn by Blindpoetry
2 Jan 2004, 6:05 AM
Also, take the time to read comments on other poems you read. If something a writer said sparks your interest, follow it. The best part of poemranker is not necessarily the most recent poems posted. Roam the back halls. Study the graffiti. no vote
on Belabourin' Jack by middenHeap
2 Jan 2004, 12:38 PM
Yup. That's the way the nut sac singes.
on O Death by lastobelus
2 Jan 2004, 12:41 PM
I hope this doesn't get missed. I'm gonna take a few reads before I vote.
on Haikus for Nentwined by horus8
3 Jan 2004, 5:52 AM
Here here! And where is he these days? And his pops.
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2004, 6:01 AM
I like stanzas 1,6,11. The rest sounds pimply. Unless you're hiding a villanelle in there. n/v
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2004, 6:37 AM
If the meaning of the holiday is so damn important, why is it only one day a year we treat people "nicely".
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2004, 1:39 PM
Laid dung? He had sex with feces? Put this where it belongs. As an addendum to "child".
on Just-Average-Zongs-Zung by tralala42001
4 Jan 2004, 9:38 AM
Hmmm. Your moniker suggests something juvenile. Your topics don't. I would suggest combining this with the other (8 minutes). The good morning simply needs more material. Wear your safety belt. It can be a rough ride around these parts.
on He doesn't love me by tuthaliash
4 Jan 2004, 10:36 AM
Really really good. Based on the fact that Tinty-G is your referrer, and this poem, I'd say you'll be moving on soon.