regarding some deleted poem...	25-May-05/3:25 PM
Even cutting out the corniest parts didn't help this. GAH!
regarding some deleted poem...	26-May-05/6:21 AM
Tempt eve with a better ace? Cheap. The end made my face go red.
Re: Star Studded Supermarket by [mojo]	26-May-05/6:30 AM
This is funny and worth the effort to iron out. My first thoughts are: lose stanza 10, the clouds. and go with the four line stanzas. Really! Do this ! Or else!
Re: Yesterdays testament by Caducus	26-May-05/7:55 AM
You read Plath? holy cow. I'd better give her a once over at least.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-May-05/12:58 PM
Trim this-> in the morning- you've already said it with -last night. Reword the horoor flick line for more ooomph it works with your shadows. The last stanza has all the material it needs. Groom it.
Re: Coffined by Dovina	26-May-05/1:10 PM
Sorry D, I was left in the dark on this one. But I do need to ask if maybe Rockmage compensates for my mostly over generous votes, thereby giving the 'ranker SOME balance?
Re: Welcome To Croatia by Caducus	26-May-05/1:19 PM
"Where'd you go, Psycho-boy?" "I felt like destroying something beautiful."
regarding some deleted poem...	26-May-05/3:41 PM
I gotta look up Calaveras now. The poem ? A fresh engine that starts the first try.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-May-05/6:26 PM
You are not our very own balcony-boy. And you keep a Capybara for a pet. So there.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-May-05/7:34 PM
HEY! GOOBER! CHAT! NOW!
regarding some deleted poem...	27-May-05/11:49 AM
Look up: On concerning loving onesself by D-G-B. enjoy.
Re: The secret press by zodiac	28-May-05/7:59 PM
Because Beta usually follows alpha or precedes -max, I have problem here. If it is an actual name for fact keeping purposes, then ignore this. When you said navel I thought she might be pregnant which would have worked as well but I didn't write it and there's nothing wrong with your choice. If I was female, I'd be wrung. Metrics all the way.
Re: A soldiers life by closeup	31-May-05/7:10 AM
use the search key for: What you know - It might help,it might not.
Re: Acrylic French Nails by Dovina	31-May-05/7:16 AM
Maybe- My nails are green too. And a little brown. My garden is for everyone to enjoy. Ok , too wordy maybe but I'm with Zodiac on the ending being a let down . You show us well with the deatiled nails and then tell us what you thought. You know better than that. Weed it, damnit.
Re: Life and Love by windyone	31-May-05/7:25 AM
Sorry, I don't buy symphony of dogs. The last line is a little too straightforward for me. Maybe a little backstory might be good like D says.
Re: The Symbol by Dovina	31-May-05/9:11 AM
I must've missed this while on the road. I got it, and think it's fine.
Re: Wanted by Dovina	2-Jun-05/3:44 PM
Too much was cut. the other only needed some adJUSTAMENTE. Um, I'll leave my piddle on the other one later . Gotta run, sorry.
Re: Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac	3-Jun-05/6:10 AM
The first seemed like notes scribbled tiredly so thought wouldn't be lost. This is mucho bene. Romance, religion, politicos, bullets, the true nature of all that is. These are honest tens I give.
Re: Swoon by Dovina	3-Jun-05/6:30 AM
Ok, here are my nits. Dangling hands and outward thumbs may be too descriptive. Does he really take your Hands? Or does he use your upper arms. Your breasts feel connected or do you? Unique line of womanhood sounds like he's got women all over the globe to me. The reality dream ending loses me, but I might not be reading it at the right speed there. Keep in mind there may be references in this that I just don't understand. Facing east for starters. I don't get it but I'm sure you're facing that way for a reason. I still like this heaps.
Re: Swoon by Dovina	3-Jun-05/6:30 AM
And the title is too generic. This, from one of the Kings of genericism, ha!