Re: a comment on We're Off by Skamper	19-Aug-07/4:26 AM
hmmm...how bad...half flush or the full whammy including air-freshener and an embarrassed nod to the next in line?
Re: a comment on We're Off by Skamper	19-Aug-07/4:25 AM
yeah! got a bit carried away there...here's my poetic license all paid for and up to date...
Re: a comment on We're Off by Skamper	30-Jul-07/10:31 PM
Kewel...thanx
Re: Farewell by Skamper	11-Jul-07/2:30 AM
I know - it was all rather haphazzardly written. It is an old one that I stuck up here on my way out. I am travelling Australia for a year and will only post sporadically (got that from clueless)... thanks for the input anyway! :) cya when I can.
Re: a comment on Bonded by Skamper	3-Jul-07/7:26 PM
I'm his maiden - I check in now and then, make reports, receive new assignments and tend to needs...
Re: What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	3-Jul-07/7:15 PM
that's poetry - brilliant
Re: Lamb of God by Edna Sweetlove	3-Jul-07/7:02 PM
at least she gave it's arse a break
Re: a comment on Deeper by Skamper	3-Jul-07/6:53 PM
Yes
Re: a comment on Deeper by Skamper	1-Jul-07/6:19 PM
the end of the line should give you the break needed, even after the first line there is a pause - if you read the whole thing pausing after each line there shouldn't be a problem.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	1-Jul-07/6:16 PM
Isn't that the way of the poet - mixing of both memory and imagination. Even a memory is never true to the event. This is good stuff, I enjoyed it.
Re: The Demonbaker's Death by PsydewaysTears	1-Jul-07/6:09 PM
notice how your first stanzas are shorter lines? That works really well - stick to that. I love the fantasy/goth feel of this...
Re: a comment on Deeper by Skamper	30-Jun-07/6:18 PM
oh - you are just cruel!!
Re: Lullaby by lexxie100	30-Jun-07/6:16 PM
You don't need the 'night' in nightlight - we know it's dark you told us that in the first line of the second verse. Unless you are referring to the light a child may need to sleep with? Still you mention night again in line four - the flow would work better without the extra night.
Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina	30-Jun-07/6:12 PM
Surprising you find awe in grass - something I've never even considered to be wondered over. The first two lines in the last stanza bring an instant response of awe...but the grass! Interesting how your mind works with what you see.
Re: a comment on Deeper by Skamper	30-Jun-07/6:00 PM
no - the fear would be gone, replaced by sadness and mourning.
Re: courtyard by lmp	30-Jun-07/5:58 PM
why the spacings now? I have seen this done in a few poems and don't get the idea behind it.
Re: A See-Through Prayer by PsydewaysTears	30-Jun-07/5:56 PM
very song-like, with an olde feel that doesn't quite make it...the punctuation is distracting. I don't feel anything for or from this write.
Re: Summer Festival by Christof	30-Jun-07/5:47 PM
very cute just as it is
Re: light [edited] by lmp	29-Jun-07/6:22 PM
I can see the image you are trying to create, and the contrast - but, find I would be lost if it wasn't for the comments above. So, maybe you need to put the fruit in the title somehow because I keep wanting to change 'rind' to 'ring' as if it's a typo...
Re: a comment on timebomb by lmp	28-Jun-07/4:37 PM
So it's just the act of the lie that hurts - not what is actually said. I get it, It's the nature of the truth that hurts - cancer, cheating - not the act of telling the truth. So, where's the irony? LOL...kidding, I am just dizzy from reading all the twists.