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Deeper (Senryu) by Skamper I do not fear love
Nearly as much as I should
Frighten me some more
Up the ladder:
The secret press
Down the ladder:
Small-town Postal Clerk Considers Inspiration
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.714286
Posted: June 29, 2007 6:08 PM PDT; Last modified: June 29, 2007 6:08 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.998925 Overall Rank: 1308 Comments:
[9]
nypoet22 @ 65.8.70.95
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30-Jun-07/12:10 AM
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Reply
made me chuckle.
[n/a]
Skamper @ 202.6.130.120
> nypoet22
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30-Jun-07/6:18 PM
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Reply
oh - you are just cruel!!
Love ends! Frightened now?
no - the fear would be gone, replaced by sadness and mourning.
Punctuate the end of line two, otherwise it reads: I do not fear love nearly as much as I should frighten me some more. Which is a little confusing.
the end of the line should give you the break needed, even after the first line there is a pause - if you read the whole thing pausing after each line there shouldn't be a problem.
i agree. eschewing puctuation altogether leaves it open to the reader's interpretation.
i would agree with Ranger only if there was a period (or "full stop", "full point" or "dot", choose your favorite nomenclature) at the end of the last line.
are you in love with a sociopath?
just kidding. i like it.
Yes
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