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Farewell (Free verse) by Skamper What say you - Conscience
Yes, itâs the right thing to doâ¦
What say you - Guilt
She got whatâs comingâ¦
And you - Imagination
Nothing, Iâve nothing to sayâ¦
Excellent - itâs done then
Yes
Up the ladder:
You can seize my smile
Down the ladder:
when enough is too much
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: July 3, 2007 6:52 PM PDT; Last modified: July 3, 2007 6:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10140 Comments:
[4]
INTRANSIT @ 65.29.60.146
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4-Jul-07/7:23 AM
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Reply
For some reason, I want one more couplet. I'm gonna sit with Mage on this. There's GOBS of potential here. Put it away and look at it again in a week.
I think commas would be better than dashes here. âWhat say you â Conscienceâ means that what you say is Conscience. But I think you are asking your Conscience what it says.
agree with Dovina's coments and also with INTRANSIT. this does have a lot more potential, and you have shown us with previous work that you can polish this up.
I know - it was all rather haphazzardly written. It is an old one that I stuck up here on my way out. I am travelling Australia for a year and will only post sporadically (got that from clueless)...
thanks for the input anyway! :) cya when I can. 209 view(s)
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