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Farewell (Free verse) by Skamper
What say you - Conscience Yes, it’s the right thing to do… What say you - Guilt She got what’s coming… And you - Imagination Nothing, I’ve nothing to say… Excellent - it’s done then Yes

Up the ladder: Givin' in
Down the ladder: Love

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10176
Posted: July 3, 2007 6:52 PM PDT; Last modified: July 3, 2007 6:52 PM PDT
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Comments:
[4] INTRANSIT @ 65.29.60.146 | 4-Jul-07/7:23 AM | Reply
For some reason, I want one more couplet. I'm gonna sit with Mage on this. There's GOBS of potential here. Put it away and look at it again in a week.
[6] Dovina @ 204.251.247.214 | 4-Jul-07/6:10 PM | Reply
I think commas would be better than dashes here. “What say you – Conscience” means that what you say is Conscience. But I think you are asking your Conscience what it says.
[6] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 5-Jul-07/8:38 AM | Reply
agree with Dovina's coments and also with INTRANSIT. this does have a lot more potential, and you have shown us with previous work that you can polish this up.
[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.54.220 | 11-Jul-07/2:30 AM | Reply
I know - it was all rather haphazzardly written. It is an old one that I stuck up here on my way out. I am travelling Australia for a year and will only post sporadically (got that from clueless)...
thanks for the input anyway! :) cya when I can.
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