| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Farewell (Free verse) by Skamper What say you - Conscience
Yes, itâs the right thing to doâ¦
What say you - Guilt
She got whatâs comingâ¦
And you - Imagination
Nothing, Iâve nothing to sayâ¦
Excellent - itâs done then
Yes
Up the ladder:
Haikus of Tonight
Down the ladder:
Me 2, Nature 0
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: July 3, 2007 6:52 PM PDT; Last modified: July 3, 2007 6:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10159 Comments:
[4]
INTRANSIT @ 65.29.60.146
|
4-Jul-07/7:23 AM
|
Reply
For some reason, I want one more couplet. I'm gonna sit with Mage on this. There's GOBS of potential here. Put it away and look at it again in a week.
I think commas would be better than dashes here. âWhat say you â Conscienceâ means that what you say is Conscience. But I think you are asking your Conscience what it says.
agree with Dovina's coments and also with INTRANSIT. this does have a lot more potential, and you have shown us with previous work that you can polish this up.
I know - it was all rather haphazzardly written. It is an old one that I stuck up here on my way out. I am travelling Australia for a year and will only post sporadically (got that from clueless)...
thanks for the input anyway! :) cya when I can. 209 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
