poemranker ::Consider the Grass by Dovina

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Free verse № 152937

Consider the Grass

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 29 Jun 2007 · Edited 1 Jul 2007 · 20 comments

A single leaf from internode wraps, protects a tender stem, leans out to catch the sun. Efficient, simple structure, entwines the neighbors’ roots, sways to wind and rain. East of piney Rockies, west of hardwood Ozarks, Grassland rules the Plain. Buffalo trampled, cattle shaved, entombed by plow and road resilient grass comes creeping back. A lesson rhizomes teach: without its gripping roots, a bare and sterile dustbowl. Today they’re clipping seeds in windy western Kansas taking in the winter wheat, filling world trade centers, skyscrapers on the plain, a gift of grassy grain, Like an ant beside a cola can, I pedal past the Grigston Co-Op in awe of mother grass.

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20 comments

[8] nypoet22 30-Jun-07/12:24 AM Reply
there's only so much excitement you can inject into a poem about grass growing, but i applaud the effort. adding the "I" in the last stanza seems not to fit very well.
[n/a] Dovina › nypoet22 30-Jun-07/3:46 PM Reply
What? No awe or even respect for The Keeper, holder of the all-important soil, maintainer of your grain-loving soul? Sacrilege! I suggest you repent at once!
[9] Skamper 30-Jun-07/6:12 PM Reply
Surprising you find awe in grass - something I've never even considered to be wondered over. The first two lines in the last stanza bring an instant response of awe...but the grass! Interesting how your mind works with what you see.
[n/a] Dovina › Skamper 1-Jul-07/1:49 PM Reply
I have a memory of the Grassland, the Great Plain between the Rockies and the Ozarks, a conclusion from a collection of observations, most of which have passed from mind. In that sense I must say that those observations did not take place and only my image of their whole remains, an impression. I have memory images that correspond to sensual observations in the past. “Interesting how your mind works with what you see,” as you say. And I may be imagining rather than remembering. Only rockmage mentalities deny this.
[9] Skamper › Dovina 1-Jul-07/6:16 PM Reply
Isn't that the way of the poet - mixing of both memory and imagination. Even a memory is never true to the event. This is good stuff, I enjoyed it.
[9] Ranger 1-Jul-07/3:20 AM Reply
The images are good and in places you hint at a swaying rhythm which is ace, but you don't sustain it. The final stanza is marvellous.
[n/a] Dovina › Ranger 1-Jul-07/1:50 PM Reply
Always the feeler of sway, hearer of rustling leaves, of rising accent, river’s current. Doctrinally, of charismatic leaning, I suspect—the feel and flow of grass superceding its sound religious dogma. Your awe may come with gentle wind that tosses heads in rhythmic waves, mine beneath a concrete cylinder rising tall above a wheatfield town. Please don’t change. And look again for sway; I’ve breathed on it.
[9] Ranger › Dovina 3-Jul-07/2:37 AM Reply
It works better now. 'Sways to wind and rain' is exactly what I was talking about. Perhaps a couple more sibilants in some places to keep a constant hissing of grass? Maybe that would be a little over the top, but it might be worthwhile playing around with the sound.
[10] PsydewaysTears 1-Jul-07/12:56 PM Reply
very strong ending, loved this upon finishing it
[n/a] Dovina › PsydewaysTears 1-Jul-07/1:52 PM Reply
I've changed it. Hope I didn't ruin it for you.
[9] lmp 2-Jul-07/9:23 AM Reply
i do like the rhythm that (it appears) you have tweaked. whatever, it works well with the theme.

i hear the wind on this prairie, the soft subtle moaning through the blades as they rustle, bending and sweeping their neighbors.

i also like the slow outward zoom, if you will, going from micro to macro, although if this was intentional, there are a few places where it breaks the progression: s3 & s5 zoom much further out.

something about the last stanza is uncomfortable. i guess putting yourself into the piece brings the image of the expanse of the prairie to bear, but doesn't sit well with me. much in the same way that some tlevision commercials will lead in with some awe-inspiring imagery, only to ruin the effect by presenting their product. but that is personal preference...

still, a great piece. thanks.
[n/a] Dovina › lmp 4-Jul-07/3:24 PM Reply
Outward zoom – a good name for what I was trying doing in the first three verses. Then I switched to a kind of historical march in the second half, and finally, an almost religious chant at the end. Sorry you don’t like the personal entry at the end. I don’t know how to bring the feeling I experience here in Kansas into the poem without getting personal. See my comment to Paul.
[9] lmp › Dovina 5-Jul-07/4:09 PM Reply
so.... are the rockies, next? or the desert?
[n/a] Dovina › lmp 5-Jul-07/6:34 PM Reply
From where I sit on this fine evening in Ordway, Colorado, looking west, the Rockies rise as pleasant relief from the vastness of the middle America plain over which I've pedaled these last weeks. Beyond them lies Utah and the desert, only to be followed by the Loneliest Road in America - Highway 50 accross Nevada.
[9] deleted user 2-Jul-07/1:20 PM Reply
The images here are very good Dovina. You have taken something simple and ordinary, something most of us take for granted, and raised it to the extraordinary--great insight and a great write.
[n/a] Dovina › deleted user 4-Jul-07/3:24 PM Reply
In western Kansas they’re harvesting a bumper crop of wheat; and the price of wheat is double normal. I see a lot of sunburned smiles in Tribune. Their fortune follows good weather in the west and crop failures in the soggy east, driving up the price. I have no stake in this except to watch the combines, the trucks and the grain elevators rising like temples above each tiny town in the Plain.
[8] INTRANSIT 3-Jul-07/8:01 AM Reply
There's still some trimming to be done.

Resilient, a lesson, can go.
Possibly- efficient, as well. Like the silo as a cola can.

Maybe not so much awe. Just watching, I think would be better.
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 4-Jul-07/3:23 PM Reply
Agreed on “resilient” and “lesson.” Most folks say I’m too thin; you’ve caught me fat. I’ve also taken some of the awe out. Rankers get tired of too many edits, so I’ll not post the changes. Thanks.
[1] Edna Sweetlove 3-Jul-07/8:50 AM Reply
Pretentious.
[9] lmp › Edna Sweetlove 5-Jul-07/4:07 PM Reply
indeed you are.