Re: Empathy with the childhood dreams by Prince of Void	25-Sep-07/10:32 PM
The last two lines had me nodding in agreement - some lives gain very little, and others nothing at all.
Re: Death of a Drug Addict by SupremeDreamer	25-Sep-07/10:35 PM
damn sad
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Sep-07/10:36 PM
I don't understand this one - it must be an american reference yeah?
Re: The Friendship Storm by x0lovelylarnx0	13-Oct-07/9:28 PM
this is very bland - you need to drop such overused phrases and take what is in your head and write it in your own words...don't worry about what other people rate your work, it's not that important...honestly you seem to want to play to the masses instead of just playing.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Oct-07/9:31 PM
yes-yes...neatly done, opens up the mind and closes the mouth
Re: The Devil and I by forsaken	13-Oct-07/9:34 PM
disjointed and lacking any kind of rhythm I could find (maybe just my two left brains)
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Oct-07/9:42 PM
like is used too many times for such a short piece. the first and last versus could do without it. life sliding compared to tyre dust is creative...dust always seems to conjure images of swirling, and alike. Your sliding dust across the truck stop is spot on.
Re: back o' the fridge by nypoet22	13-Oct-07/9:43 PM
as natural as a dancer...loved it
Re: Solstice, 2007 by lectricprincess	13-Oct-07/9:47 PM
a pure pleasure to read -
Re: inside the raven by PsydewaysTears	14-Oct-07/7:53 PM
nice work - lurking evil in a gently lulling tune... always the trap. :)
Re: RAGTIME by xyz	14-Oct-07/7:57 PM
why don't you just throw stones at her - pull her hair and maybe snap her bra-strap. then she'll know you really like her
Re: Unmistakably Mistaken by secretlyvulnerable	22-Oct-07/9:46 PM
your last verse is creative and to the point - verse one and two are overworked a little...no need to mention tears too much, we get the crying from the second line...the last verse saves this piece, I really like it.
Re: My Courtney by secretlyvulnerable	22-Oct-07/9:50 PM
you started off so well with two verses of 3 lines, and ended with two lines of thankfullness and love. The third verse could be cut to 3 lines also keeping the original rhyme scheme...just a suggestion, you can turn a nice phrase
Re: While waiting for someone to check in my cars by INTRANSIT	22-Oct-07/9:56 PM
beautiful - image is so clear I wish I'd seen it. I would love to see a descriptive word in there for the daughter snug/warm in denim jacket, to follow on the caring of the mother as she carries her son..know what I mean?
Re: Back to Orange and Black by winniss	22-Oct-07/10:00 PM
I think tingle instead of tingling would bring this straight into the momment. I like this.
Re: Wayne, do you? by T. Jonathron Remp	22-Oct-07/10:04 PM
I gave in and went to the site...nice touch... :)
Re: Never Let Go by x0lovelylarnx0	22-Oct-07/10:07 PM
I'm not sure I understand this one...is it a dream? I am confused a little with the ending, is the protection offered only temporary?
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-07/10:10 PM
love the vodka reference - brings a reality to the piece
Re: Parasite by Christof	22-Oct-07/10:13 PM
having recently been amazed by fog in a tropical environment I connect with this...nice!
Re: One Perfect Moment by sonawrote	22-Oct-07/10:19 PM
if this is a true account of a time in your life - tell of something that has a personal touch, for readers to connect to the melancholy of it all. Otherwise it's just nothing, a blurb on the back of a romance novel...