regarding some deleted poem...	12-Feb-07/9:06 PM
I tend to like more rhythm and fewer, more precise words in poetry. That being said, it is a story well told.
Re: A Part of Me by Quarton	12-Feb-07/9:15 PM
I like it overall. The puncuation and grammar errors throw me off though. If you are going to use form to help your poem, use it to make it more readable. The form here makes it harder to read I think. Also, "with my beliefs though, I can no longer take refuge in them knowing" This sentence is grammatically incorrect. I think :)
Re: Celui by half.italian	15-Feb-07/9:08 PM
Thanks. I wish I had her back.
Re: Complaints by jessicazee	15-Feb-07/9:21 PM
I really like it. I see something clearly. Dad comes home from hard work, to a child who wants to play. He just can't handle children being children when he's tired. I could be off, but it works for me.
Re: Friday's Monday's June by Enkidu	15-Feb-07/9:28 PM
It's just fun to read.
Re: a self-conscious lack of denial by nentwined	15-Feb-07/9:37 PM
Southern Comfort always brings me spirit wisdom.
Re: Leg by jessicazee	17-Feb-07/3:55 PM
I love your poetry.
Re: A New Deal by oneglove	23-Feb-07/4:53 PM
I like it. Sounds like a Dylan song.
Re: cold war by Dental Panic	5-Mar-07/9:06 AM
I think you could stay with the analogy through the last line. Don't give it to us. I got it right away. Nice poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Mar-07/9:18 PM
It doesn't have an obvious name to me. I tried for about ten minutes, but it's obvious I'll need to let this one stir in my brain for a bit.
Re: Tribeca by Dovina	11-Apr-07/1:13 AM
Think about changing the end of stanza 4. I have a picture in my head until those last two lines, and there it's disrupted. It makes sense, sensically, it just draws me out for some reason. Cool poem.
Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee	18-Apr-07/1:18 PM
I see it.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Apr-07/7:07 PM
No reason to put "(child abuse)" in the title. We get that. For your next one try to come up with an analogy that describes the situation, but relating to a different object/setting.
Re: Pink BAlls by EAger to Offend	19-Apr-07/7:08 PM
7 for the laugh.
Re: Always there by holliebollie_19	19-Apr-07/7:11 PM
Kinda nice.
Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP	19-Apr-07/7:16 PM
Kinda reminds me of a Dr. Suess.
Re: Rap? Hip-hop? What has this thing become? by DreamerSupreme	24-Apr-07/12:50 AM
Normally the title would turn me off from this. Maybe I'm just in the right mood, but I can see this as a song. A good mix of street and smart.
Re: Vesuvius by Frizz	24-Apr-07/1:07 AM
I like alot of this, but you should work out the words a bit more in places I think. These two lines broke me from the read "How Stalin was one fucked-up looney." and "We thought nuclear weaponry was fun and amazing," There's always a place for a good "fuck", but it just cheapens your poem here. There are rarely good places for "fun" or "amazing" in poetry. "acidic reality" is a bit easy too. It also doesn't come around to the punchline smoothly. Maybe another stanza before, or just flesh out the Hiromshima stanza to bring it home. I really like: "Red went with blue and white, And I desperately wanted to be Chinese,"
Re: Jealousy by Person	24-Apr-07/1:08 AM
Haikus are not short enough.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Apr-07/1:16 AM
In the future, will you please use 'cunt' to describe a woman, and 'fuckface' to describe a man