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Celui (Free verse) by half.italian
She was a gorgeous blonde head to toe; stacked. On our second date, we fucked. I feather the inside of your hips coaxing, teasing. Like a schoolgirl you squirm and giggle; obliged to be under my hand. Your hair tickles my skin with delightful intent. The feel of your silicon nipples sends shivers from my palms. My hands on you hold firm. Our purpose is to be one; together. We will stay like this forever in my mind.

Up the ladder: it's quiet

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.905148
Overall Rank: 9679
Posted: February 11, 2007 8:53 AM PST; Last modified: August 16, 2016 8:04 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] half.italian @ 76.172.249.205 | 11-Feb-07/10:27 AM | Reply
Have at it.
[8] Bethy @ 165.154.46.24 | 12-Feb-07/6:39 AM | Reply
sexy...good memory... :) Bethy
[9] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 | 12-Feb-07/11:46 AM | Reply
I don't think you need anything beyond the third line.
[7] nentwined @ 76.167.62.172 | 15-Feb-07/6:48 PM | Reply
the last two lines are the redeeming glory, and the rest does well for being put so plainly, but... the thought's only so much.
[n/a] half.italian @ 76.172.249.205 | 15-Feb-07/9:08 PM | Reply
Thanks. I wish I had her back.
[n/a] Quarton @ 12.206.226.220 > half.italian | 26-Feb-07/4:37 PM | Reply
Good poem. One thing concerning the word "intent." You use it twice in the last two stanzas and perhaps "Our purpose is to be one" might work better. Or any word with like meaning.
[n/a] impert&ent @ ::1 | 26-Aug-16/8:09 AM | Reply
Celui? Ce lui? Anyhow, nice evocation of a once in a lifetime fuck.
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