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Makin' Bacon (Free verse) by NICKDRP
It's early, yes i know But it's Sunday and it snowed What to eat, let me see Makin' bacon, I agree. Sausages or cereal, they're all good But today it's bacon, we all should The smell, the sizzle, I'm ready to eat Makin' bacon sure is neat.

Up the ladder: A Time to Dance
Down the ladder: Need For Speed

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.2689414
Overall Rank: 3831
Posted: April 10, 2007 6:19 PM PDT; Last modified: April 10, 2007 6:19 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] NICKDRP @ 67.68.62.83 | 10-Apr-07/6:19 PM | Reply
Its a great Canadian Sunday morning!
[3] bwaha @ 152.163.101.19 | 13-Apr-07/12:58 PM | Reply
The first verse has very good rhythm. The worlds flow naturally, and I really like it. Only thing I would say to maybe change is "it snowed" to "there's snow" because then your rhyme is more perfect.

The second verse looses the flow of the first, though. One thing to keep in mind when writing rhyming poems is to count syllables. Frequently (though not always) the closer the syllable counts in your lines are, the better the poem will flow.

Also, this poem is obviously meant to be light hearted and fun, but even still...neat? Reading the first verse, I would assume I was dealing with a playful adult. But the second verse makes me feel like I am talking to a creative, yet unskilled grade schooler.

The idea is cute though.
[5] EAger to Offend @ 74.12.105.91 | 18-Apr-07/9:58 PM | Reply
I think that "neat" is the perfect word to end this on. Not only is it a juvenile complement to the whimsy of this piece, the conotation is just as Leave-it-to-Beaver, 50's-ish as a the very bacon breakfast of which you speak.
[n/a] NICKDRP @ 65.93.201.89 > EAger to Offend | 19-Apr-07/3:36 PM | Reply
Thank you EAger...cheers
[8] half.italian @ 76.172.249.205 | 19-Apr-07/7:16 PM | Reply
Kinda reminds me of a Dr. Suess.
[10] susanthered @ 127.0.0.1 | 21-Nov-15/12:57 PM | Reply
this poem is amazing!!!
I love it...well done!!!!
[10] susanthered @ 127.0.0.1 | 21-Nov-15/12:58 PM | Reply
I bet the guy who wrote this is an amazing person and really great looking....what a hottie!
[n/a] NICKDRP @ 127.0.0.1 | 18-Mar-20/12:38 PM | Reply
Wonderful poem !!!!
[n/a] NICKDRP @ ::1 | 18-Mar-20/12:45 PM | Reply
Its been years..and i know
making bacon can be slow
all you comments
all your slurs
means nothing..as we know
snow and sleet
sunday morn
family love to talk and eat
its all about the sizzle
and not the meat
when will you all learn
stop analyzing the repeat
off we go, making the bun
tomato and cheese
its all about fun

good bye for good..love you all :)
[n/a] NICKDRP @ 127.0.0.1 | 18-Mar-20/12:45 PM | Reply
Its been years..and i know
making bacon can be slow
all you comments
all your slurs
means nothing..as we know
snow and sleet
sunday morn
family love to talk and eat
its all about the sizzle
and not the meat
when will you all learn
stop analyzing the repeat
off we go, making the bun
tomato and cheese
its all about fun

good bye for good..love you all :)
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