poemranker ::A Part of Me by Quarton

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Free verse № 149843

A Part of Me

Member since 2002 · Posted 7 Feb 2007 · 3 comments

I once viewed the world in comfort with my beliefs though, I can no longer take refuge in them knowing there remains no sustainable thesis, no Gospel to safely build on-- initial premise fatally flawed. A crumbling foundation unable to support notions once perceived as fact, burdened by prior ideas of a universe out there, existing in seclusion-- now undone by the world of quantum. where all is transformed and unified. A fantasy-like state emerging from the ashes of Descarte who thought he was and, from his Cartesian view, therefore was. Though between mirage and reality-- like the desert traveler with cupped hands, yielding only undrinkable sand, lies the illusion of the magician's sleight of hand--things not always as they seem. While the quark and lepton dance hand in hand to the cosmic beat of uncertainty. Commonsense contradictions the rule, world transformed--fresh concepts born as I gaze skyward, now able to see-- the moon and stars are a part of me.

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mean 4.00 weighted 4.88 rank 10279 views 145 View voting details →

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3 comments

[n/a] Quarton 8-Feb-07/1:07 PM Reply
Ranger, you are probably right but the whole Cartesian
mind-set seems to be fair game though rather abstract which makes for a difficult subject to write about.
Thanks for the read and comments.
[5] half.italian 12-Feb-07/9:15 PM Reply
I like it overall. The puncuation and grammar errors throw me off though. If you are going to use form to help your poem, use it to make it more readable. The form here makes it harder to read I think. Also, "with my beliefs though, I can no longer take refuge in them knowing" This sentence is grammatically incorrect. I think :)
[n/a] Quarton › half.italian 26-Feb-07/4:13 PM Reply
Thanks for the read and comments.