Re: a comment on Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry	3-Feb-04/3:48 PM
Are you a native English speaker?
Re: How things should be... by DeadtotheWorld	3-Feb-04/3:33 PM
Things should be the natural logarithm of the way they currently are.
Re: a comment on The girl next door by Jennichad	3-Feb-04/11:02 AM
Why do you wallow in the land of the sausage?
Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	2-Feb-04/4:40 PM
Speaking of Tales from the Outhouse, here is a horrifying one. 1900 hrs: I drained and consumed an entire diplomatic pouch of Sainsbury's Mozzarella Cheese. 2000 hrs: I began breaking wind. 2030 hrs: I noticed that the wind was significantly more foul than a normal farte, and that I was accumulating a full gas chamber at least every ten minutes. 2130 hrs: I realised that I had never before released such an inconceivably disgusting and protracted series of nauseous, sweaty, cheesy fartes in my entire life. If anyone else had been trapped in the room with me, they would have been pounding on the door and crying and pleading to be let out. I opened my window as far as it would go, to not much effect. 2200 hrs: The Browne Winds continued to blow ever more fiercely. I realised I was almost certainly permanently staining my jodhpurs, and quickly stripped to long-johns and cummerbund. The side effect was that each increasingly sickening fart was released instantly into the atmosphere instead of being caught in the ventilation chamber of my jodhpurs, and I was therefore assaulted tenfold by the awesome concentrated force of each new breaking. 2300 hrs: The length, frequency and punguency of the emissions continued to sail from strength to strength, with no end in sight. Despite my inbuilt resistance to the smell of my own gas, the stench had become quite unbearable, and my eyes were watering. I retired to the bathroom where there was a ventilation fan and hoped for respite. 2315: Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. As anyone familiar with Boyle's law knows, the size of the room in which one fartes is inversely proportional to the mind-blowing intensity of the rectal outburst when it happens. With the pressure in my abdomen suddenly growing, I had no choice but to hold on to the towel rail, steel myself and to Jesu pray, though well I knew that He was why the Browne Winds blew. 23:20: Armageddon. 23:30: I stagger back to my desk, a broken, reamed husk of a man. Whether I will ever recover physically or morally is unknowable. My poor brave jodhpurs, upon inspection, have a colossal browne crater in the gusset; they will have to be put to sleep. The lingering stench of immoderation continues to taunt me from all corners of the room. The one thing I have to be grateful for is that I myself seem to have ridden out the storm. But -- but what's this? My bowels seem to be filling at an unthinkable rate! Good God, what if this were to escape? No -- no -- for the love of mankind, I must hold it in! I -- I can do it. I can hold i
Re: a comment on Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry	2-Feb-04/3:06 PM
it means i like you're poem because it comes from the heart and thats what matters in poetry its all about emotions dont listen to guys here they dont kno what poetry is about its about feelings and if you write about your feelings thats all you can do and thats all you need to do as long as it comes from the heart
Re: Soft Speak; Hard Emotion by Blindpoetry	2-Feb-04/2:58 PM
A colossal booby of indignity.
Re: a comment on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	2-Feb-04/10:15 AM
One day, perhaps not today, perhaps not e'en tomorrow, but one day, one lonely day, when the precious oils of youth have sadly slicked themselves from your once glistening hide, on that absurdly dry day, that day of humiliating de-balmilisation, you'll come to regret that remark, richa. By God Sir there'll be hell to pay if you don't!!!!11
Re: a comment on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	2-Feb-04/8:20 AM
spoken like a true sufferer of Inadequate Beard Syndrome
Re: 3AM At Whitey's by DurtKL	2-Feb-04/8:09 AM
Whitey's ain't shit. Lefty's is where it's at. Password: KEN SENT ME.
Re: a comment on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	2-Feb-04/6:53 AM
Rockmage actually voted a -6- on this piece, immediately after he read the Terrible Ode To Rockmage. Then - following Shuushin's comment - he promptly changed his vote to a -10-. I deleted the original rockmage poeme because I felt it didn't do justice to the overwhelming feelings of hatred I have for him.
Re: a comment on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	2-Feb-04/6:33 AM
What about this poeme makes you think of legitimacy? The subject matter is the same as always: the moving of bow'ls. The style is the same as always: absurdly melodramatic and ineptly archaic. The comments are the same as always: a mixture of derision, indifference and utterly inappropriate ecstasy. Frankly, Sir, I am appalled that you would even entertain the idea that this piece marks a change in the poetic career of -=Dark_Angel==-. To address your further comments: 1. The 'AIDS' trilogy was completed many years ago, in the form of 'AIDS Bonanza!' 2. While it might be true that my poemes are no longer anonymously zeroed to the extent they once were, this is a direct result of the decreased number of angry teenagers on Poemeranker recently. crystal lane swift is too busy voting on her own poemes to zero mine. 3. The Tales referred to are the telling brown songs of adventure and sorrow that ev'ry man must daily sing.
Re: a comment on EarthWaterAir - Hey! Look! IM MR FIRE! by Y2kSlamPoet	1-Feb-04/11:56 AM
You still don't fucking get it. Your IQ is about 85-95. YOU LIED WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS 122 (or whatever). How convenient that you've lost your certificate. I had my IQ tested by PROFESSIONALS, and it came out as 98. I then spent three years studying and took the test again. I scored 98 again, but the PROFESSIONALS supervising the test said I had an effective IQ of 106, which is HIGHER than yours. SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!11
Re: a comment on Your True War Story by zodiac	1-Feb-04/11:34 AM
'This Is Me' by crystal lane swift
Re: a comment on Your True War Story by zodiac	1-Feb-04/10:33 AM
I have no idea how to vote on your work. If you wrote a rhyming piece about a Ware-Pig, or about a man who goes for an entire year without wiping his bum, or about a dysfunctional (but terrifyingly powerful) Loom who naughtily secretes all its oils causing the weavlings emerge as mere husks, then I'd know what I was talking about. But when it comes to your poemes, I can mostly tell they're well written in the sense that you know the difference between "you're" and "your", or "it's" and "its", and that they don't sound like they were oozed onto the page by a drugged leper, but apart from that my ignorance would shock e'en the most foul smelling of peasantlings. In non-rhyming free verse, most line breaks look arbitrary to me. Maybe it's because I am thinly read. You could ask the other -=Dark_Angel=-, who is widely read, but I fear it could be some time before he replies - yesterday he had to see the College nurse because... because it happened again.
Re: ATLAS by Garrett S Sexton	1-Feb-04/4:15 AM
For one thrilling moment I thought the title of this piece was "AIDS". -10-
Re: Unhearted by Miggy	1-Feb-04/4:13 AM
A weeping chuff of dignity. -10-
Re: Captive by feathers68	30-Jan-04/11:34 AM
'within' is one word, as is 'cannot'. You also spelt 'bleakness' incorrectly. In general, the piece is awkward and unpleasantly written. I mean look at this line, for instance: 'The rest is fake my soul is broken.' What you've done there is squashed two stupid sentences into one, extra stupid, non-sentence. You need something to separate the two. Either a semi-colon, i.e 'The rest is fake; my soul is broken!', or just have them as separate sentences. I suspect that had you just written down what you were trying to say, without trying make it into a poeme, you probably would have ended up with something far more coherent. What you have instead is a mess with arbitrary linebreaks. Good effort though! -10-
Re: Stronger by devina	30-Jan-04/11:12 AM
They'll be quaking in their boots when thay read this. Powerful stuff! -10-
Re: a comment on Cold Rain Road by middenHeap	28-Jan-04/2:35 PM
'As vernal as the Spring' is undoubtedly the stupidest remark I have read on Poemeranker to-day. -10-
Re: Cold Rain Road by middenHeap	28-Jan-04/2:12 PM
An olive spitting out its pimiento; an elderly gentleman engaging in "Single-Handed Sailing". Which is the lewder?