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The girl next door (Free verse) by Jennichad
Eyes that used to shine so blue exposing her love of life. Shaded and shadowed the truth of restless nights. When the sun goes down and the curtian of darkness falls. Through the thickness her crying penetrates the plaster walls. Each day, each night she waits next to a silent phone. He fights a war with many she fights one here alone. No one comes to rescue her From the pain she suffers within herself. No one even bothers to ask if she needs help. Waiting for a letter she checks the mail every day. Only bills are overflowing wanting her to pay. Her thoughts are filled with longing sometimes they seem to burn. Blood red ink marks the days that pass anxiously awaiting his return. Time has become a burden Minutes like hours, hours like day. passing them in solitude wishing he was here today. The girl next door is hurting. Radiating a silent plea. No one cares to notice. No one cares to see.

Down the ladder: A Time

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.0896473
Overall Rank: 6216
Posted: February 2, 2004 6:08 PM PST; Last modified: February 2, 2004 6:08 PM PST
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Comments:
[5] Goad @ 217.226.26.20 | 3-Feb-04/10:57 AM | Reply
unfortunately the premise of the pome is correct, at least insofar as it applies to me: I don't give a fuck. shrug, oh well.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.87 > Goad | 3-Feb-04/11:02 AM | Reply
Why do you wallow in the land of the sausage?
[5] Goad @ 217.226.26.20 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 3-Feb-04/11:10 AM | Reply
recruiter just before the doc com bust & a good offer.

Company's 1/4 the size now and the salary no longer so great, but I get 10 weeks holidays per year and I'm too lazy to move. But fuck I miss speaking English with native speakers.
[5] zodiac @ 152.30.201.12 > Goad | 3-Feb-04/11:38 AM | Reply
It's cold there. Very cold. And gray. And sometimes (though rarely) you can tell how it is that their grandfathers canonized Hitler and made Jew lampshades. I'm not trying to be German-ist, but the country weirds me out a little. Speaking of abroad, I just rented Lost in Translation. It's release-day here.
[5] NanceXToo @ 24.229.216.168 | 5-Feb-04/1:33 PM | Reply
I think this could have been a decent poem if it had been written in a different style. Here, as is, it's just too generic, although it has a decent rhythm to it. typo on curtain. I like "she fights one here alone."
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