Re: Poemranker is Back! by Dovina	5-Nov-10/6:18 PM
was it gone? i missed the downtime....
Re: a comment on slice of moonlight by lmp	21-Apr-08/4:46 PM
if you read certain other works of mine, you will discern that there are more than he for which this was written.
Re: a comment on light [edited] by lmp	21-Apr-08/4:39 PM
the grapefriuts' skin does fade next to the luster of light upon the lover's skin...
Re: a comment on Master by Dovina	26-Sep-07/6:37 AM
there is a difference between supplication and survival. however, if you let the guy with the knife take your wallet, hunt him down and blow his brains out. ;)
Re: Crotchety Old Geezer by Dovina	21-Sep-07/10:17 AM
you young whelps don't know how hard it was to write before this confounded internet. we had to actually move pen across paper, and if we screwed up a word, we had to scratch it out! and we had to use a real dictionary - an actualy big, heavy book - to look up words instead of the ridiculously easy "open another web page" nonsense. and if you lost that piece of paper or it got wet or burned, you were shit out of luck if you could not recite it from your own memory, i tell you. kids these days...
Re: Another Date by Dovina	21-Sep-07/9:57 AM
funny you should say you look for a man with qualities in verse 1. an inuendo or two could be made there, especially with line 3.
Re: California Bound by Dovina	21-Sep-07/9:47 AM
well, maybe if the guv'ment need a new weapons test site, they can move north a bit.
Re: a comment on Master by Dovina	21-Sep-07/9:44 AM
no, i have not. i believe as a child i had the potential to have been diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder. i have mellowed with age, but the core fibers of my being find no solace in supplication or grovelling. happy to provide feedback to those with serious intent. i never did catch up with you about the end of your ride; how did it finish out?
Re: Master by Dovina	20-Sep-07/2:26 PM
i dont really get any cynicism here. perhaps i am daft. i was rather repulsed by the cowering servility of the narrator, but then the last verse i can almost see a sneer creep into the subject's face. i do hope that the keepr of the subject's soul is not the "Lord" or "Master", but rather the subject themsleves. maybe the words are spoken true, as in "i will shield nothing from you since all i do is what you ask." in that case, i am further repulsed. not your best, but we all write what we need to write, nonetheless.
Re: Cotopaxi Store, Colorado by Dovina	11-Jul-07/3:29 PM
i like this one. i would suggest switching the order of coffee and donut in line 7; i presume the "black and sweet" refers to the coffee, not the donut. in fact, to maintain the rhyme scheme you have established, switch it to "sweet and black". line 1 refers to her baseball cap, line 2 to her khaki hat. not sure if that is too much about the hat/cap. perhaps line 1 could be "khaki cap" and figure out something else to rhyme with either line 1 or line 3. as ranger said, this has a nice flow, kind of jaunty and carefree. nice.
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	5-Jul-07/4:09 PM
so.... are the rockies, next? or the desert?
Re: a comment on Consider the Grass by Dovina	5-Jul-07/4:07 PM
indeed you are.
Re: a comment on light [edited] by lmp	5-Jul-07/8:42 AM
but i was eating a grapefruit, peeling the rind. all that would be left of a peach is the pit: pitted peach pit sits glistening with juice in sun drying somber brown.
Re: Farewell by Skamper	5-Jul-07/8:38 AM
agree with Dovina's coments and also with INTRANSIT. this does have a lot more potential, and you have shown us with previous work that you can polish this up.
Re: Promise Knot by PsydewaysTears	5-Jul-07/8:34 AM
first three stanzas work, then it all goes John Cage-ish and dischordant. maybe thats the way it goes.... things just fall apart.
Re: a comment on (Title pending) by INTRANSIT	5-Jul-07/7:55 AM
i agree that cochlea had a tendency to make for squeamish feelings, but pinna falls a little flat. i think it is the reduction from 3 to 2 syllables. perhaps try "auriculae". it is a little more erotic sounding than "auricle" (which is a synonym for pinna) and it actually adds a syllable, but it works well in this case. i would also suggest changing "women" to "lovers". my guess is that anyone can use that sort of shade when things get steamy. understanding now your perspective (as a truck driver), this is a great sentiment.
Re: What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	3-Jul-07/8:31 AM
i think s6 sums up the entire message succinctly. s2 is a bit confusing: flatlines EKG, but no ink marks. and transparent links (as in weblinks)...? i do like the analogies between your own vessel and that of an automobile. i am guessing the "logbook" is the recordings of a GPS device, and that someone rather upset/ill is driving around concerend for their well being. dunno. i like the images and am intrigued by the "story".
Re: Pot Haikus (Ode to Stoners) by Shardik	3-Jul-07/7:55 AM
spliff-er-riffic!
Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina	2-Jul-07/9:23 AM
i do like the rhythm that (it appears) you have tweaked. whatever, it works well with the theme. i hear the wind on this prairie, the soft subtle moaning through the blades as they rustle, bending and sweeping their neighbors. i also like the slow outward zoom, if you will, going from micro to macro, although if this was intentional, there are a few places where it breaks the progression: s3 & s5 zoom much further out. something about the last stanza is uncomfortable. i guess putting yourself into the piece brings the image of the expanse of the prairie to bear, but doesn't sit well with me. much in the same way that some tlevision commercials will lead in with some awe-inspiring imagery, only to ruin the effect by presenting their product. but that is personal preference... still, a great piece. thanks.
Re: Deeper by Skamper	2-Jul-07/9:03 AM
are you in love with a sociopath? just kidding. i like it.