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Master (Free verse) by Dovina Place a wafer on my tongue
red wine upon my lips
in my breast the Logos of your soul
and into me your satisfaction
I come weak in threatening world
and curl to you
my strength, my Lord
In subjection to the stronger
held closely by the mighty
my best is yours to change
to have, control
Iâll not shrink, withhold or cower
or protect myself from you
or keep a pleasure
from the owner of my soul
Up the ladder:
Turncoat
Down the ladder:
MTV's The Real World: Poemranker
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: September 15, 2007 4:53 PM PDT; Last modified: September 15, 2007 4:53 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7683 Comments:
[9]
deleted user @ 63.127.193.79
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16-Sep-07/10:21 AM
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Reply
excellent--I love the cynicism.
[n/a]
Dovina @ 17.255.240.138
> deleted user
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20-Sep-07/2:28 PM
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Reply
Please tell me how it is cynical.
[9]
deleted user @ 63.127.193.79
> Dovina
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21-Sep-07/5:04 AM
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Reply
The title set me on that thought course, and what little I know about you as a person through your many comments on this site. I think of you as a strong-willed woman who would bow to no master; therefore I let that thought color my perception of this poem. Sorry if my interpretation was off--but as a writer you must know that a diverse audiance will garner diverse opinions. Either way its still an excellent poem.
[n/a]
Dovina @ 17.255.240.138
> deleted user
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21-Sep-07/12:51 PM
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Reply
Yes, I am strong-willed, and yes, I cower to the right man. So damned few of them here on poemranker, it's easy to understand your impression.
Funny thing is that I didn't read any cynicism in this, except for where the title is concerned.
In what way is the title cynical?
i dont really get any cynicism here. perhaps i am daft.
i was rather repulsed by the cowering servility of the narrator, but then the last verse i can almost see a sneer creep into the subject's face. i do hope that the keepr of the subject's soul is not the "Lord" or "Master", but rather the subject themsleves. maybe the words are spoken true, as in "i will shield nothing from you since all i do is what you ask." in that case, i am further repulsed. not your best, but we all write what we need to write, nonetheless.
If you were daft you'd mutter nonsense like "yetch" or "sick." Apparently you have never experienced the joy of cowering. It's restful and feminine. Thanks for commenting, we get so few these days.
no, i have not. i believe as a child i had the potential to have been diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder. i have mellowed with age, but the core fibers of my being find no solace in supplication or grovelling.
happy to provide feedback to those with serious intent. i never did catch up with you about the end of your ride; how did it finish out?
The ride across America ended August 30 with a tire dipped in the Pacific. My luck with weather, dogs, snakes, scum, and logging trucks was too good to be called lucky. And supplication had a part: cars are bigger, let them pass.
there is a difference between supplication and survival. however, if you let the guy with the knife take your wallet, hunt him down and blow his brains out. ;)
Ride? As in- bicycle ride? Holy cow! Bully you !!!
Holy Cow, I hardly believe it myself. Might hold the record for slowest passage coast-to-coast by bicycle. Did I pass you in Kansas, looking at daisies?
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