| Re: The Happy Side of Misery by Dovina |
22-May-07/9:35 AM |
Have to be honest with you. I don't get half of it. I get the first two verses, but then? It's very abstract to me... and perhaps needs a bit of explanation for a simple girl like me.
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| Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta |
4-Aug-07/8:31 AM |
I have now changed Stanza 3 line 1 to read "Seagulls in shades of while", which originally read "seagulls in pearly whites". Maybe this is a better option. What do you think?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
4-Aug-07/9:19 AM |
hahaha.. i found this very amusing. and just for that very reason I'll give you a ten.... :-)
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| Re: Beggar by MacFrantic |
4-Aug-07/9:26 AM |
Too much emphasis on the word beggar. And yes, it rings quite clear that this beggar wants to remain a beggar.
I like the half rhymes you use.... but still think you could come up with something better than ...'travels on to something rural.'
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| Re: Home coming of her love by Jessina |
2-Dec-07/10:02 AM |
Hmmm... Jessina, Here are a few things I would take note of.... avoiding the 'ing' form of the words, like beginning with Sighing.
For eg. ... just a suggestion,
She sighs profoundly and saunters
Down the corridor of her chamber.
Her movement was slow
Like a weary itinerant.
Lost in a world of sheeer gloom,
She lounges restively on stairs so plume
Quivers in hoary morn
And clinches her ruddy coverlet.
There seems to be a slight conflict in tenses.... for which you have to be careful about. But, nice choice of words.
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| Re: Rancor by Dovina |
25-Jul-08/4:19 AM |
Hi D. i remember cheering for you on your 200th poem, and here I see you've done another 100. Way to go girl. But what is this I read 'Amanda Dcosta has gone to heaven'? LOL. I was highly amused with that statement.
Ok... guess its time for Amanda Dcosta to step down from heaven and return to our PR World. You guys have been missing me for long..... Hello everyone... good to see you all. Cheers to PR. I'm back !!!
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| Re: What you wana hang out later? by T. Jonathron Remp |
25-Jul-08/4:24 AM |
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Am left wondering what this 'what you' is about ...
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| Re: Question by half.italian |
25-Jul-08/4:25 AM |
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| Re: The Man Who Drooped by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
25-Jul-08/4:30 AM |
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| Re: Childhood Memories by Jessina |
25-Oct-08/4:06 AM |
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Hi Jess, good to see you around. What's happening and how have you been ? Good to see your poem here.
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| Re: Beslan by Ranger |
25-Oct-08/4:13 AM |
I think I read this many times and fail to see how I didnt comment on it. Its lovely writing.
BTW - I tried mailing you a couple of times on your social network page and your mailing add, but it looks like you dont use them anymore. however , if you get this message, send me a test mail. Anyway, hows everything and what's happening with you.
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| Re: harvest moon by Caducus |
8-Mar-09/12:13 AM |
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Imagery is good, though I believe it picked up pace only by the second half.
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| Re: Poemranker is Back! by Dovina |
19-Jul-10/10:39 PM |
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| Re: The still wheel by Caducus |
19-Jul-10/10:57 PM |
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Nicely written. I could see where this was going and you have the imageery done well too; but I'd rather you lose some of the unnecessary words like.... 'so she knew he was', 'she had outlived them all' and instead just give a full impact imagery in phrase form. Losing some of those unnecessary words would make it more impressive than it already is.
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| Re: courtyard by lmp |
26-Nov-10/11:10 AM |
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Very nice feel to this short verse. Picturesque.
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| Re: Song of Creation by amanda_dcosta |
22-Apr-11/2:13 PM |
Glossary of music terms:
Legato - string of notes, Fortissimo - very loud sound, Piano - soft (sound), Dolce - sweet, Mezzo-forte - moderately loud, Maestoso - majestically , forte - very loud, Silenzio - silence
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Apr-11/3:13 AM |
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| Re: Help! by Dovina |
16-Sep-11/1:18 PM |
Across the Atlantic and Indian Oceans
or the Pacific, the other way round....
sound waves travel.
I hear you.
-10- for the message! :)
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| Re: Munnar -a must -see destination by Jessina |
16-Sep-11/1:25 PM |
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I know Munnar... so I can connect with its landscape. but from just the description, it doesn't take me there poetically, although you may rhyme. While reading it I was looking for something that would make me say WOW as in 'yes, this is the poetry-inspiring MUNNAR'.... apart from the generalized description that every traveler to Munnar posts. I know you added some adjectives to describe it, but sometimes the reader wants more than a description. We want to find the poet in the poem.
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| Re: A mag that PAYS??? by SupremeDreamer |
13-May-13/10:09 AM |
Heyyy!!! Since you're talking about writing and getting published, how about writing poetry for cash? Visit my site for more details towards May 25, 2013. I'm organizing a Tanka competition and there's cash to be won. It's open to all ... www.mandys-pages.com. Contest should start May 25 or June 1. Until then, it's just notices passing around. Stay tuned.
http://www.mandys-pages.com
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