poemranker ::The still wheel by Caducus

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Free verse № 159575

The still wheel

by Caducus

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 Apr 2010 · 2 comments

In the chime choke Alms house a grey lantern flickers moths dye the seamstress Coventry blue. Long ago her lover coaled blossom and hurled it in the river so she knew he was thinking of her. Now age has wickered her skin to red dogwoods stretching skyward, painted in skeins of osier. She drifts away like coal barges controlled by doors of lock and screw surging to the nectar breast. Nights stone iris reflects her and a rainbow of dragonflies hemmed her whispers in polyester. Nobody came for her belongings she had outlived them all her grave faces the still wheel.

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2 comments

[8] amanda_dcosta 19-Jul-10/10:57 PM Reply
Nicely written. I could see where this was going and you have the imageery done well too; but I'd rather you lose some of the unnecessary words like.... 'so she knew he was', 'she had outlived them all' and instead just give a full impact imagery in phrase form. Losing some of those unnecessary words would make it more impressive than it already is.
[10] wDaphnew 26-Sep-11/11:06 AM Reply
What a pity so few people read you here! I like your poems - why not come to my new site? This poem is well worth posting at my new poetry site: click here to join! http://newpoetryshared.proboards.com