are you sleepy?
can you be specific?
was the first version better?

thank you, i'll see what i can do...

thank you; it's like a self-inflicted cause
you know, a hair shirt worn by someone with something to prove
a discomfort for its own sake
but i still don't understand what is lacking in the rest of the poem...

in this poem, i did go for that rhyme pattern
this is not my line of work
visual art is my line of work, mostly sculpture
writing is a roundabout way of sifting ideas for me
but thank you for your consideration, and if you have anything constructive to say about my writing, i would greatly appreciate that sentiment as well.
i was told by sculpture advisors to take my writing somewhere where people who knew things about writing could help (not sculptors).

right arm.

if you lost it, where would you find it, and what would you do to fill the void created by it's absence?

thank you kindly.

what's so good about up to and including hairy shirt?
what's so bad about the rest?

well...
you're not so thick, you almost get it.

so i'm not doing a shit job, but i am writing from the perspecitve of one who does a shit job
and it's not so much the amount of money in the poem, but what is being done with it that is important.
maybe you should deepen your definition of deeper.

both.
why do you ask?

what don't you get?

oh, sweet

what the hell is that?

he must have lost interest, dude...

cutting a rug so thick:
like dancing i'm dancing up such a storm
that my legs disappear into the rug
so i can't see my pants

glad you enjoyed

and how is it insane, even if it is wrong?

i must be missing something
i don't see anything wrong with
approaching a situation from different perspectives
simultaneously
in real life or in art

more specific suggestions are always welcome
but thank you for your vote