Re: a comment on Beneath the Willow Tree by cyan9	22-Nov-05/5:30 AM
Is that anything like writing poetry for yourself? No, something tells me there's a McGuffin in your story that motivates you. Maybe even you haven't discovered what that is. Sorry it must be the relaxing effect of listening to the 700 Hobo names that's got me spewing all this hippy psychobabble shit.
Re: The Rise of Dr Herbert Cyan by cyan9	21-Nov-05/5:04 PM
Good, you decided to continue the story. I know you hate movie comparisons but often when I read your work I think "Requiem for a Dream". To me that's a good thing. I expect this series to be quite a wild ride.
Re: a comment on Prejudice and Racism by TLRufener	21-Nov-05/4:46 PM
I think William Golding might disagree. Throw a bunch of white kids and one black kid on a deserted island without adults and the black kid'll be dead in a year.
Re: a comment on Beneath the Willow Tree by cyan9	21-Nov-05/12:57 PM
Sooner or later it's going to happen. Your mind is mature but your heart's still young Zodiac. You can't save them or the whales. You can only maybe ease their suffering or slow down the process. For a godless man you sure partake alot in his type of work.
Re: a comment on leah by T. Jonathron Remp	21-Nov-05/12:23 PM
Nice bait & switch. Really.
Re: a comment on Night song of Pattaya by Caducus	21-Nov-05/12:16 PM
Thank you. I always love it when I have to grab a dictionary while reading a poem. It means I'm about to learn something new.
Re: a comment on Love letter by zodiac	21-Nov-05/12:13 PM
I was lucky enough to have a teacher that spotted it early in grade school. I barely remember the techniques that were used to help me overcome it. I think it has something to do with reprogramming a different part of your brain to read but I'm not sure. I suppose I should research it more. As someone who has learned alot from you already I can say you are a fine teacher and the world needs more like you.
Re: a comment on Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent	21-Nov-05/11:58 AM
I got 1 but it's in both stanzas. +10+
Re: a comment on leah by T. Jonathron Remp	21-Nov-05/11:51 AM
Thanks. Judging by the timestamps it took you 20 hours a 22 minutes to generate your backhanded complement. Based on your logic this would mean you don't have a job and you suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome, probably due to over masturbation. I do masturbate occasionally but never once have I cried. If you're crying then you've probably worn the skin off but that'll happen after 20 hours and 22 minutes.
Re: Night song of Pattaya by Caducus	21-Nov-05/8:24 AM
I keep getting torn between the image of veiled sculptures and young hookers and "grey as kerbs" has got me totally stumped. Am I even close?
Re: Due Consideration by Dovina	21-Nov-05/6:37 AM
Burp -by ALChemy Belching out my songs of love and philosophy I hold my breath to kill the beast I feed upon It's meat is rough but not enough to discourage me And now I've said it all and now I've done it all and now I've had it all I ate it up all gone One wonders how many millions read the biting comments listed under many of the poems posted here and think "Nope, no frickin way I putting my stuff up there to get lambasted like that." Maybe they should read this poem first for confidence.
Re: Taste Ghazni by eliastemplar	21-Nov-05/6:13 AM
Who would have guessed such colorful rugs and shawls could have come from such a dull looking place.
Re: a comment on The Fall of Marvin Hyde by cyan9	21-Nov-05/12:14 AM
<Footnote:- Don't worry about who likes it or doesn't, post it. You need to get feedback (good or bad) on any of your work that you think has potential. Personally I'm really interested to see where you're going to take this.
Re: The Fall of Marvin Hyde by cyan9	21-Nov-05/12:08 AM
This may be assuming too much and it's certainly none of my business but have you kicked the habit? I'm guessing yes. There's just as good a chance this is completely fictional and based on nothing in your life but heroin's a fucked up drug don't you think?
Re: a comment on Amber's Witness by cyan9	20-Nov-05/11:18 PM
Looking forward to it.
Re: a comment on leah by T. Jonathron Remp	20-Nov-05/1:14 PM
She only got two minutes out of you?! How familiar that must be for her.
Re: Prejudice and Racism by TLRufener	20-Nov-05/7:20 AM
If there was a black kid on the island maybe Piggy would have stood a chance.
Re: Amber's Witness by cyan9	20-Nov-05/6:38 AM
Reminds me of back home in PA. This is good solid descriptive poetry. I like the juxtaposition of the metalic terms with the forest setting. I wish there were a few more of them to maintain that contrast and add even more depth. I see some tendencies in your work to focus on evoking the emotion through elaborate description, which is great, don't get me wrong but I'm left wondering what other styles you might have in your arsonal. Poems can also make us think and/or rethink ideas of something and poems can also tell you a good story. I mean if this is your thing and you'd rather focus on it, well that's fine. I just think your capabilities are much wider than this. I also am guessing alot of these poems were written timewise in close proximity to one another because many of the descriptions and metaphors you use recur in your other poems. That happens to me whenever I write alot of poems in a short timespan.
Re: a comment on Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina	20-Nov-05/5:47 AM
Nah, it was me.
Re: leah by T. Jonathron Remp	20-Nov-05/5:45 AM
Do not the burning embers dwindle in the light of their own lives? (and yet) the oldest flames may still rekindle. This is how love survives. Line 1 and 8 contradict each other. Say "I shall be" and then "shall I be" out loud 3 times each. I bet "shall I be" is a little easier to say, huh? It also bounces off the following "for she" better. Use words we don't hear all the time like "hearth".(bonus points if you can think of a word (not name) that rhymes with "hearth".) When writing about someone you love say something obscure or secretive like "I still taste the mandarins of our youth"