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Night song of Pattaya (Free verse) by Caducus
Children on plinths. Painted masterpieces. These artists perform dreams and hot spoons. Grey as kerbs who shine for ten dollars. Moonlight bullion fades away. Every price has a cost wrapped in tarpaulin is the never was born and always dying. Walk past the enamel masks where tears and innocence hide. Ignore the children in denier who bark for hiding jackals the night song of Pattaya.

Up the ladder: Perfection
Down the ladder: Figment

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.089402
Overall Rank: 6281
Posted: November 21, 2005 7:35 AM PST; Last modified: November 21, 2005 8:46 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 | 21-Nov-05/8:24 AM | Reply
I keep getting torn between the image of veiled sculptures and young hookers and "grey as kerbs" has got me totally stumped.
Am I even close?
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.203.50.222 > ALChemy | 21-Nov-05/9:17 AM | Reply
Your're there.

Child prostitution and the occasional murder and cover up. Noone their cares though so covering up the invisible is ironic.

As usual I'm in a happy mood lol.
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.203.50.222 | 21-Nov-05/9:19 AM | Reply
Grey as kerbs - grey upon grey, plinths for statues frozen in time commemorating nothing but filth.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > Caducus | 21-Nov-05/12:16 PM | Reply
Thank you. I always love it when I have to grab a dictionary while reading a poem. It means I'm about to learn something new.
[9] zodiac @ 217.144.7.195 | 21-Nov-05/10:04 AM | Reply
"Masterpieces" seems an extremely poor word choice. Not only does it add nothing of significance to "painted", but "painted" doesn't add anything significant to it. They're not redundant, but they're the closest thing. And aren't these kids much more comparable to bagatelle or objets d'art, something cheap, mass-produced, and marketed for the poor unaesthetic masses?

Even better: painted-tin Virgin icons!!!
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.203.50.222 > zodiac | 22-Nov-05/2:18 AM | Reply
Well thanks for pushing me to raise the bar higher and you're dead right about the mass produced mercandise angle 'made in pattaya for 10 dollars' that kind of thing but harder and more concise.

Your comment has made me understand you so much more.

Its funny how you pick up on the whole art/painting thing - i was going to call these kids hitlers art as he was a struggling artist (and crap) but just couldnt find the angle.

I'm gonna rewrite another version of this for you zodiac.
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