poemranker ::Night song of Pattaya by Caducus

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 133900

Night song of Pattaya

by Caducus

Member since 2002 · Posted 21 Nov 2005 · Edited 21 Nov 2005 · 6 comments

Children on plinths. Painted masterpieces. These artists perform dreams and hot spoons. Grey as kerbs who shine for ten dollars. Moonlight bullion fades away. Every price has a cost wrapped in tarpaulin is the never was born and always dying. Walk past the enamel masks where tears and innocence hide. Ignore the children in denier who bark for hiding jackals the night song of Pattaya.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.75 weighted 5.09 rank 6274 views 306 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

6 comments

[n/a] ALChemy 21-Nov-05/8:24 AM Reply
I keep getting torn between the image of veiled sculptures and young hookers and "grey as kerbs" has got me totally stumped.
Am I even close?
[n/a] Caducus › ALChemy 21-Nov-05/9:17 AM Reply
Your're there.

Child prostitution and the occasional murder and cover up. Noone their cares though so covering up the invisible is ironic.

As usual I'm in a happy mood lol.
[n/a] Caducus 21-Nov-05/9:19 AM Reply
Grey as kerbs - grey upon grey, plinths for statues frozen in time commemorating nothing but filth.
[n/a] ALChemy › Caducus 21-Nov-05/12:16 PM Reply
Thank you. I always love it when I have to grab a dictionary while reading a poem. It means I'm about to learn something new.
[9] zodiac 21-Nov-05/10:04 AM Reply
"Masterpieces" seems an extremely poor word choice. Not only does it add nothing of significance to "painted", but "painted" doesn't add anything significant to it. They're not redundant, but they're the closest thing. And aren't these kids much more comparable to bagatelle or objets d'art, something cheap, mass-produced, and marketed for the poor unaesthetic masses?

Even better: painted-tin Virgin icons!!!
[n/a] Caducus › zodiac 22-Nov-05/2:18 AM Reply
Well thanks for pushing me to raise the bar higher and you're dead right about the mass produced mercandise angle 'made in pattaya for 10 dollars' that kind of thing but harder and more concise.

Your comment has made me understand you so much more.

Its funny how you pick up on the whole art/painting thing - i was going to call these kids hitlers art as he was a struggling artist (and crap) but just couldnt find the angle.

I'm gonna rewrite another version of this for you zodiac.