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20 most recent comments by Tintagiles
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Re: Loving An Angel by Brego 19-Oct-05/10:20 PM
I was going to rant about the angel, except you kept it as a leitmotiv. That's something.
Re: a skinny man on the dock by ay deee 19-Oct-05/10:26 PM
'Shaolin ninja on pole'... You've gone and impaled yourself, haven't you?
Re: River Valley Rose by TLRufener 19-Oct-05/10:43 PM
Hmm. I actually rather like this. The bit about hte grandfather seems almost irrelevant, it would be fine without (arguably). Not all of the punctuation is necessary.
Re: Forgiveness by flightoffancy 19-Oct-05/10:45 PM
The first line is good. The rest... bwuh.
Re: Air Guitar by Miggy 19-Oct-05/10:49 PM
Tee hee.
regarding some deleted poem... 19-Oct-05/10:52 PM
I must dsagree with Dovina. The 'I' in Stanza 3 makes perfect sense. SAay it aloud. It might benefit from a hyphen, though. Like this:

And I -- all I smell is foil and heather.
regarding some deleted poem... 19-Oct-05/10:55 PM
'siraling'... Could you perhaps mean 'spiralling'? Qorked on a couple of times, it could be quite decent. Bear in mind that in hearing the word 'spiralling', every English Major worth his or her salt will think of Yeats.
Re: A Dark Account of History by D. $ Fontera 19-Oct-05/10:58 PM
ShamAn. Please. Hmm. Aside from that, 'tis all right.
Re: Farm animals by INTRANSIT 19-Oct-05/11:03 PM
There's something about 'the sun the other as/rooster crowing' that doesn't quite work. I couldn't pinpoint the proble, but it's there. A comma after 'sun' would simplify it, but perhaps too much.
Re: Marriage by Dovina 19-Oct-05/11:10 PM
Marriage is masculine? Gasp! (wait, well, I suppose it is in French...)

Now, does this apply to homosexual marriages? Where the idea is that managing to get married is writing a wrong rather than performing one?
Re: The nymph steals the farm-son by <~> 19-Oct-05/11:12 PM
'Despite November in my heart/and December at my breast'-- nice. I admit I was going to simply congratulate ou on using November as opposed to another month, but the addition of December actually works.
Re: Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac 19-Oct-05/11:15 PM
Hmm. Not my style, but that doesn't mean I can't notice its quality -- a fact a lot of people forget.
Re: final act by <~> 19-Oct-05/11:16 PM
Ah, ye gods, ye haven't changed. Wonderful.

Where have you been, anyway? Methinks I've rather missed you, Tilde.
regarding some deleted poem... 22-Oct-05/7:09 PM
I agree with Tilde (what a surprise) about the comma after pretty. However, the first stanza has a problem: the rhyme of the last two lines somehow sounds like there should be other rhymes. I didn't like that here, for some reason.

Also, 'plume': doesn't seem to quite work. 'Plumes' perhaps, or even 'plumage', but plume in the singular I don't quite like. It must be the sound of it, because I agree that sense-wise, it'S perfect.
regarding some deleted poem... 22-Oct-05/7:10 PM
Fine. Don't listen to me.
Re: Leg by jessicazee 22-Oct-05/7:14 PM
Not that I necessarily disagree with the poem (especially since I've never seen your legs), but whether or not a hairy female leg is nice or not depends on the shape of the leg. As a rule, hairy ones will be just as nice when shaved, though the reverse is not necessarily true.
Re: The Marble Me by PsydewaysTears 22-Oct-05/7:16 PM
The first two lines aren't bad. The rest...
Re: How often? by little_big_nose 22-Oct-05/7:20 PM
'And how often do we separate our masters from the leash' -- what?
Re: Slim and Pretty, Or Not by Dovina 22-Oct-05/7:22 PM
But fuller, un-sucked-in stomachs make better drums!
regarding some deleted poem... 14-Nov-05/10:22 PM
I rarely write about real things, and this is proof of it, though it started as a fair description of a trip I was recently on. I freely admit that while being driven northwards, I was reading Pound's Cantos. (And believe it or not, Zodiac, I much preferred the lyrical ones to the others.)


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