Forgiveness

When the parent becomes the child, the child is lost. Knowing that this is how it ends, but at a cost. Is there meaning to it all, meaning to life? It's not easy to overcome the years of ambivalence and strife. Love you hate you love you...love you. Why couldn't you have done better? Knowing the answer, but knowing it doesn't really matter now. Took away my childhood, took away my father, didn't know how To really be a mother...a baby yourself when I came along. I always thought you overcame, convinced myself you were strong. Love you hate you love you...love you. Why couldn't you have done better? Turned my eyes outward, ignoring the pain within. Now so much later, I find myself figuring out where to begin To heal the hurts, to heal the hole The hole I try to contain, that lives in my soul. Love you hate you love you...love you. Why couldn't you have done better? And as I begin to release the rage inside me, let it out, It is transformed, becomes a white-hot light bursting with a shout. Why why why why why why why why why... And the answer - because, just because. It's all right. Love you hate you love you...love you. You did the best you could.