Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

final act (Free verse) by <~>
he started, brash, his own criminal stealing self from species publicly-- performance art in the market square-- he slashed himself long and laughed daring us to see crazy man, standing akimbo, red flags fluttering as gasps, gasps, and backing off and eyes seared to the scene he groaned like jazz on an open groove the center of his own circle unrelenting, then suddenly wretched but measured never forgetting his audience he streamed round, screamed white, white eyes realizing round not seeing us circled round his senseless senses leaving the present he swaggered in his pain swathed in agony spun himself with glory, red and wet spun and splattered us who rushed in makeshift bandages dry as he flailed to keep us away until it was too late.

Up the ladder: Seawards
Down the ladder: Climbing the Wall

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
10  .. 30
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 9.6
Weighted score: 5.5483336
Overall Rank: 2449
Posted: July 20, 2005 7:41 AM PDT; Last modified: July 20, 2005 7:41 AM PDT
View voting details
[9] Tintagiles @ | 19-Oct-05/11:16 PM | Reply
Ah, ye gods, ye haven't changed. Wonderful.

Where have you been, anyway? Methinks I've rather missed you, Tilde.
[10] zodiac @ | 20-Oct-05/2:30 AM | Reply
I like everything except the word "criminal". I'm foggy on the details, but isn't self-mutilation/suicide actually illegal? So it really IS criminal, not just metaphorically so. If it's not illegal, it still doesn't seem like the best word. I mean, hari-kari (or hari-kari-type mutilation) isn't the first thing that strikes me when I think of the word "criminal". I'd like to see it keep with the street performance theme with a more mutilation-specific or street-performance-specific word. Catburglar fits with "stealing self" but doesn't fit with suicide. Escape artist, maybe? What about those Indian performers? They do stuff like this.

Don't let my rambling detract from the fact that I loved reading this. -10-
273 view(s)

Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2020 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001