| Re: The Day The World Blew Away by OfaRevolutionAJD |
8-Jan-05/8:54 AM |
|
|
 |
| Re: medieval myth by ThePariahDog |
12-Jan-05/7:05 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Moon and History by kawakurdi |
12-Jan-05/7:09 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: paint me a poem with pictures by nentwined |
23-Jan-05/1:50 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: To You, My Son by Bhaskaryya |
23-Jan-05/1:54 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: The Voice by jroday |
25-Feb-05/9:54 PM |
Has a lyrical rhythm to it and I wonder if this would do better as lyrics rather than free verse poem, due to some inconsistency in line breaks and rhyme schemes.
It was an enjoyable read nonetheless and the matter was great.
Verdict: Beautiful!
|
|
|
|
| Re: Forest Rain by bamf909 |
25-Feb-05/10:15 PM |
Simply beautiful. Haikus speak volumes in mere 17 syllables.. This is a stupendous example with beautiful imagery.
Great work!
|
|
|
|
| Re: Into the Wreckage by zodiac |
25-Feb-05/10:18 PM |
Beautiful work! I'd have loved to see this with the odd rhymes struck out but it was great nonetheless.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Itâs the Management by Dovina |
25-Feb-05/10:25 PM |
Lol..that was good.
By the way, what's the job of a fireman during earthquake disasters?? May be they do have work, just that I'm unaware of it! ;)
Nice poem!
|
|
|
|
| Re: In (ghazal) by INTRANSIT |
21-May-05/2:16 AM |
Is this even a ghazal? I thought ghazals were a string of couplets which made sense individually too. (Like the pearl necklace which looks beautiful while strung together but is worthy of praise while viewed singularly too)
Ghazals have a certain refrain in the 2nd line of every couplet (and both lines of the first) added with a monorhyme before the refrain.
You need to address yourself in the last couplet (called signature couplet)
Well, there are around 50 rules to make a concrete ghazal and this follows none.
I like the content though.....6
PS: I don't post much on this site, but I'd put up few of my ghazals now if you'd like to look at them.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
21-May-05/2:37 AM |
I thoughts ghazals used monorhyme (just before the refrain). Moreover, you didn't use the signature couplet.
Your meter is spot on though and I love the content.
Here's an article that sums up all that a ghazal is: http://allpoetry.com/Column/784848
BTW, I checked the site you cited but they have mistaken the rhyme part. Ghazals don't use end rhyme (though they could be used as a supplement). The rhyme is upon the syllable exactly before the refrain.
I have one ghazal posted among qiite a few I've penned. I'd be glad to receive a comment from you
:)
9 from me!
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Nov-05/9:18 PM |
good imagery though the here/forever rhyme doesn't really draw me in. May be you could find an altogether better line than "then we will live forever"...that seemed a bit hackneyed.
Otherwise it was nice work!
|
|
|
|
| Re: A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus |
7-Nov-05/9:19 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina |
9-Nov-05/6:49 AM |
Why hold a candle in a bright blue day? Anyway, this was light-hearted and funny. A great read!
I loved the 3rd and 4th stanzas especially!
|
|
|
|
| Re: Sleep by ALChemy |
9-Nov-05/6:56 AM |
The poem ofcourse is great but you've used 10+ syllables in a few line. Don't they break out of the pentameter?
And just couldn't resist nitpicking on this bit of a comment by you.
"actually excepted as a word"
Isn't that supposed to be 'accepted'?
|
|
|
|
| Re: Szaehling by MacFrantic |
9-Nov-05/8:41 PM |
|
you a computer nerd? Anyway, this was good!
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Nov-05/8:51 PM |
May I know why you came and voted a zero to all my poems?
Anyway, this wasn't bad!
|
|
|
|
| Re: Farm animals by INTRANSIT |
9-Nov-05/8:56 PM |
A great poem with some excellent metaphors. However, I hope you wouldn't mind me calling this a loose adaptation of the traditional ghazal. Ghazals are a passion with me and the traditional form comes along various rules and restrictions including rhymes and refrains.
This might help you a bit: http://allpoetry.com/Column/784848
|
|
|
|
| Re: trully, madly, deeply by Blindpoetry |
10-Nov-05/7:07 PM |
"Your lips are TOO* tight"
Anyway this has a lyrical feel to it and could work if put to some music. Needs a bit tweaking here and there I believe.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Headlines by Dovina |
10-Nov-05/7:36 PM |
Was this meant for a reciatel on BBC lol? Don't worry soon we are going to blame the air/water/plants,(....fill up the blank.....) everything for our pathetic plights and you'd have a lot more to write on.
|
|
|
|
