replying on May Flowers by oneglove
10 May 2005, 2:31 PM
it's about reflecting in a car during a storm about a relationship. the rain falling on the windshield distorting whats outside parallels feeling confused about the relationship but as the wipers clear the rain there is a moment where things make sense. the poem ends with the realization that though times are hard the end result will be worth it. the title comes from the saying "april showers bring may flowers". the knowledge that after the storms of the relationship something beutiful can emerge.
on The Sidekick Retires From Fairview's Finest by luzrheroguy
22 Mar 2005, 11:43 AM
at times very cliche but very smooth, i liked the line "And how hair could be the perfect accent to a face", the last two verses arent as strong as the rest of it. i think it would be even stronger if you just cut them out. overall good job *8*
on a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove
17 Feb 2005, 6:58 AM
sorry zodiac i was clicking on the reply link and i accidently hit the "x", thanks for your correction of my word choice, i'm prone to small mistakes like that, i'd appreciate your full critique if you want to take the time.
replying on a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove
17 Feb 2005, 6:56 AM
fair enough, i'm prone to small mistakes like that and i appreciate you pointing them out, and i'd like to know what well thought out criticisms you do have
on a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove
14 Feb 2005, 6:07 PM
i know you all tire of reading overly mushy poems but its valentines day so i thought if there was any day for this poem it was today.
replying on there's no way out by oneglove
25 Dec 2004, 10:48 PM
well, more kind to me. and only a 5 this time? where did i go so wrong?
on An Afternoon Walk by Dovina
9 Nov 2004, 10:38 PM
this poem had really good flow, but bachus does have some good points. though maybe i'm just not a talented enough reader to fully understand your choice of words.
replying on after dinner by oneglove
2 Nov 2004, 7:45 AM
yes it is
on My Last Thought by Fire_is_cool
30 Oct 2004, 11:33 PM
the punctiation is kind of annoying and breaks the poem up in a weird way
on Who is deserving of all my love by zodiac
27 Oct 2004, 5:32 PM
nice job. when God is speaking it reminds me of a band named mewithoutYou. i found this interesting since they are christian band. it evokes good emotions and pulls the reader in. very nice.
replying on Fake Happiness by WithoutLife
18 Oct 2004, 9:35 PM
heh, good donnie darko reference
replying on the battle for troy by oneglove
17 Oct 2004, 2:06 PM
are you sure i wasnt the focus of the trojan war?
replying on the monster by oneglove
14 Oct 2004, 11:37 PM
well yeah, the poem is really focused on humans and God. the frankenstein thing just got my brain working. so whereas the monster wa groteque on the outside and kind on the inside(at least at first) we are the opposite. im me. backwoodnation
i see your point but theres somethings that would be lost in changing of the lines... frigid air conquest is important because birds fly south (signals overhead) when cold air is taking over, and while standing outside theres always a scent of fire coming from somewhere far off. the smell of it always seem to mask that bit of coolness in the air. thats why the refrences to a battle seemed to make sense
on Once Sought by necroscope7
14 Oct 2004, 7:38 PM
dont try so hard to make things rhyme but i like the set up
replying on the monster by oneglove
14 Oct 2004, 6:26 PM
actually its based on the parallels between dr.frankenstein and his creation and God and his creation