poemranker ::10.25.04 by oneglove

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Free verse № 114870

10.25.04

by oneglove

Member since 2004 · Posted 3 Nov 2004 · 7 comments

You said “the moon is out today” And there it hung Perched squarely in the pale blue sky Sitting quietly like it had been there all along Strange, as it had been quite a journey Chasing his beloved day after day to no avail Her immaculate face always just out of reach And yet he persisted Each day beginning his journey anew Now he had succeeded He was face to face with his lost love And as she saw him standing there Her eyes wept in lavender and crimson Even more brilliant hues than her sad tears before For a moment life was what it could be I replied “if these ill-fated lovers can have their day, we will certainly have ours”

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7 comments

[10] zodiac 4-Nov-04/5:18 AM Reply
It's weird that you say the moon is male and sun is female. Simone de Beauvoir would be shocked into dropping her French tickler. Maybe with a hollow thud on the rug and everyone would kind of stand around pretending not to notice while she stooped quickly and maybe unashamedly to tuck it back in place because she is after all Simone de Beauvoir and if she wants to walk around with one of those clamped in her trap well she probably knows what's best for Simone de Beauvoir, doesn't she?
[9] Dovina 4-Nov-04/3:27 PM Reply
A nice image - man/woman, moon/sun - long dance before the eclipse when she graciously accepts. How about a line break after anew? And "ill-fated" seems wrong with all we know about orbits.

The lunar eclipse was on 10/27/04, and you seem to be talking about a solar eclipse, so why the title?
[n/a] oneglove › Dovina 4-Nov-04/8:56 PM Reply
i was driving back to school after seeing my girlfriend on that day
[n/a] oneglove › Dovina 4-Nov-04/8:58 PM Reply
also a line break does seem like a good idea

and theyre ill fated because other than the occasional day together theyre always just chaser and chased, for eternity
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 4-Nov-04/5:14 PM Reply
On 10.25.04, while you were gallavanting about in pursuit of the ultimate lewd, I was at home soaking my mulberries in the oils of clove. If only you could boast of time similarly well spent, my lad.

[6] horus8 22-Dec-04/10:57 PM Reply
You must be a gothic marauder.
[8] thepinkbunnyofdoom 29-Mar-05/12:38 AM Reply
I'd almost promise, I've heard this story before. Only you did it with much better images.