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the battle for troy (Free verse) by oneglove my love
the beauty that launched a thousand ships
and as each vessel left the harbor
they sailed carrying a piece of my heart
that it may lead them to you
a compass always pointing towards true love
and that you may be drawn to it
a beakon to guide your journey
though they sail to fringe of map
you are but an illusion
yet to be found
and i still lay at home
with just enough heart to keep me breathing
and it is here i will wait
till i can hold you
and my heart can be restored once again
Up the ladder:
spiritual living
Down the ladder:
The Pedestal
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.2
Posted: October 16, 2004 9:55 PM PDT; Last modified: October 16, 2004 9:55 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.904638 Overall Rank: 9837 Comments:
[3]
horus8 @ 24.130.62.63
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17-Oct-04/9:06 AM
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Reply
Your knowledge of history needs a good punting.
[n/a]
oneglove @ 205.133.194.234
> horus8
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17-Oct-04/2:06 PM
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Reply
are you sure i wasnt the focus of the trojan war?
I hate the term, true love. It is love or not, but what is true love? Otherwise, I find this fanciful, but alright in a mushy way.
its a play on true north
Then say "true north". The smart ones among us will figure out you mean true love. If you're going to plagiarize then at least say it right, "the FACE that launched a thousand ships". Although decently worded your poem is awash with cliche after cliche.
The funny thing is "the face that launched a thousand ships" wasn't a cliche until some better poet made it up. Namely, this one: http://www.osmond-riba.org/lis/Graphics/
Actually, that's not so funny.
i like his mustache
What's even funnier is that it's immediately preceeded by an even more popular cliche, "Shall be performed in twinkling of an eye."
I shit you not. D. Faustus is like cliche reference book.
The point is, they weren't cliches until a really good writer used or coined them all, then everybody started copying him.
I get the point. I was just noting that Marlowe was so good he coined two cliches in two consecutive sentences.
i know what the other version is, i thought i'd make it my own
There's no easy way to say this: I think it doesn't work.
i hope it wasnt too hard to get that out, and it's fine that you think so, i'll agree its not my best work. it was posted awhile ago, and written long before that. but there is a sudden surge in interest for whatever reason.
plagiarism
n 1: a piece of writing that has been copied from someone else and is presented as being your own work 2: the act of plagiarizing; taking someone's words or ideas as if they were your own
beyond hearing the phrase "the face that launched a thousand ships" i havent read the poem to go a long with it. so if the rest of the poem has anything to do with original than its coincidence. i was hardly trying to pass off the line as my own invention but merely referencing it as a starting point for my own thoughts.
Oh, that makes you more respectable.
You'll probably be surprised to learn the poem (ie, really a play) isn't actually about Troy or Helen. Dr Faustus, having bargained away his soul for an infinite number of Magic Beans, wishes for Helen of Troy, only to find that she's a fantasy, and therefore pale and mindless. The question "Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?" is incredulous. Faustus doesn't think she's that great.
that sounds good, i hope to see it sometime
Okay. Just as long as you know the original answer to the question you've so erstwhilely copied is "Yes, but she wasn't worth it". Is that really what you're trying to associate your love with?
unfortunatly, it appears to have ended that way.
That doesn't work either. A compass points to magnetic north, which in my part of the world is about 16 degrees east of true north. Will you now say that he knew the magnetic declination?
good job with the science lesson. obviously the only reason there even needs to be a distinction of true north is because of the magnetic north of the compass. good thing the figurative heart compass points to true love and not just magnetic love, huh?
My compass points more often to magnetic love.
unfortuntly mine seems to too
Mine points to radar love.
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