on Innocence Having Been Lost by dougsoderstrom
9 Jul 2004, 6:18 PM
I don't entirely agree with it, but I'm not judging you're opinion, I'm judging the poem, and the poem isn't that bad.
on Love doggerel by thavimatola
26 Jun 2004, 2:19 PM
What does nuclear plant have to do with anything besides the fact that it rhymes with can't?
on ILLusion in Falsity by Sugar Victim
25 Jun 2004, 6:27 PM
I like this. It's harsh and blunt, but I like that it's straight-forward. The rhymes don't really distract the reader eithre, especially at the end. At the beginning, they were kind of shoddy, but it's okay, because the poem was good. I really enjoyed this. I hope to see another one like it...
-Nichole-
P.S. - I'd appreciate it if you'd take a look at one of my poems too.
-Nichole-
P.S. - I'd appreciate it if you'd take a look at one of my poems too.
on There was . . . by baphomet
25 Jun 2004, 6:32 PM
I don't like the form this was written in at all. It makes it seem unlike poetry. If you had just written it in a different form, I think that would have made it a lot better. My rating won't reflect that, though. Just for future reference.
-Nichole-
P.S. - I'd appreciate it if you'd read and review one of my poems in return.
-Nichole-
P.S. - I'd appreciate it if you'd read and review one of my poems in return.
on Promise of Resurgence by marvelis
22 Jun 2004, 11:17 AM
You're trying to get across a good message, but I can't give you a good rating. The rhymes are just too forced. Rhymes aren't always terrible, but in this case, it distracts the reader from the meaning of the poem.
on some deleted poem
22 Jun 2004, 11:18 AM
Funny...
on some deleted poem
22 Jun 2004, 11:21 AM
" I heard ya born in july ?
cause i am too and thats no lie
I'll be loving you night and day
but all you gon say is wut up and hay "
Those four lines are prime example of forced rhyme. Rhyme is not always bad, but in this case it is. It is there just to rhyme. It in no way adds to the poem, and you can tell that it was the only word you could think of to rhyme. Try and stay clear of forcing rhyme because it really detracts from a poem.
cause i am too and thats no lie
I'll be loving you night and day
but all you gon say is wut up and hay "
Those four lines are prime example of forced rhyme. Rhyme is not always bad, but in this case it is. It is there just to rhyme. It in no way adds to the poem, and you can tell that it was the only word you could think of to rhyme. Try and stay clear of forcing rhyme because it really detracts from a poem.
on some deleted poem
22 Jun 2004, 11:22 AM
Better than the last one...
on what i do? by trina_marie_73
22 Jun 2004, 11:22 AM
Very cliche...
on The Sea (revised) by Dovina
22 Jun 2004, 11:26 AM
First off, thanks for reviewing my poem, Inside.
This poem was really good. The images were remarkable. I loved your wording. I would have elaborated a little more on the last two stanzas, explain what you meant a little bit more, but that's my only complaint.
-Nichole-
This poem was really good. The images were remarkable. I loved your wording. I would have elaborated a little more on the last two stanzas, explain what you meant a little bit more, but that's my only complaint.
-Nichole-
on Strings and Sinews by aburiedlife
22 Jun 2004, 11:31 AM
It's confusing. I think you're trying to say that you're amazed that you can just throw away all the bad things in your life, but I'm not completely sure. If you edit, I'd try to make this a little clearer.
on Crucifixion of a Man by marvelis
22 Jun 2004, 11:34 AM
"The pain does not appear to exist.
Although the slightest wind does persist."
This is forced rhyme. "The slightest wind" persisting as little to do with what you talked about in the previous line. I know this is a religious piece, and it was something good that you were trying to portray, but I really have a hot button on forced rhyme, and this is forced.
Although the slightest wind does persist."
This is forced rhyme. "The slightest wind" persisting as little to do with what you talked about in the previous line. I know this is a religious piece, and it was something good that you were trying to portray, but I really have a hot button on forced rhyme, and this is forced.
on Insight by Moniquesuvee
22 Jun 2004, 11:37 AM
very much so
on some deleted poem
22 Jun 2004, 11:39 AM
Very good! I'd say more, but that's all it takes.
-Nichole-
-Nichole-
on some deleted poem
22 Jun 2004, 11:44 AM
I like this. I'm not sure why. Perhaps the randomness. Ha! That rhymed! Didn't mean to. Oh well! Good job! Can you see why I liked how random it was?
-Nichole-
-Nichole-
on A decade and five years of thought. by baphomet
22 Jun 2004, 11:47 AM
I don't like the rhyming in places, but the story is good, so I shall rate it well. Just try to stay away from forced rhyme in the future please.
-Nichole-
-Nichole-
on some deleted poem
10 Dec 2004, 10:24 AM
Great imagery! Sounds like a love poem to me though...