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Insight (Free verse) by Moniquesuvee Like a hog that couldn't get slopped
Or an engine that somebody dropped
A thriving mortician--now deceased
Or mounts to a motor that hadn't been greased
Why, a toilet that can't even muster a flush
Is like a Valentine with no kisses and mush
A good intention clouded with the vice of pride
Like words standing ready for a poem cast aside
Up the ladder:
Shi
Down the ladder:
levered 'n loved
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Posted: September 9, 2003 7:53 AM PDT; Last modified: September 10, 2003 8:49 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.0476813 Overall Rank: 6864 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[7]
richa @ 81.178.212.6
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9-Sep-03/9:06 AM
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Reply
Last two couplets are too 'mushy'. The first two are rather good. I like the semi-surreal quality
The last two lines just don't seem to fit with the first six.
It sounds good though, I especially like it for the mechanic stuff. With a name like yours you don't seem like you'd be a mechanic. Good poet though.
very much so
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