Insight

Member since 2003 · Posted 9 Sep 2003 · Edited 10 Sep 2003 · 4 comments

Like a hog that couldn't get slopped Or an engine that somebody dropped A thriving mortician--now deceased Or mounts to a motor that hadn't been greased Why, a toilet that can't even muster a flush Is like a Valentine with no kisses and mush A good intention clouded with the vice of pride Like words standing ready for a poem cast aside

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mean 5.40 weighted 5.05 rank 6857 views 205 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

4 comments

[7] richa 9-Sep-03/9:06 AM Reply

Last two couplets are too 'mushy'. The first two are rather good. I like the semi-surreal quality

[7] LuckyJoe 10-Sep-03/6:27 AM Reply

The last two lines just don't seem to fit with the first six.

[8] sliver 27-Sep-03/8:03 AM Reply

It sounds good though, I especially like it for the mechanic stuff. With a name like yours you don't seem like you'd be a mechanic. Good poet though.

[5] boldsilence 22-Jun-04/11:37 AM Reply

very much so