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ILLusion in Falsity (Free verse) by Sugar Victim She doesn't understand why
It seems an endless pattern
going from guy to guy
They're great,they love her
but not too long
Then theres some exuse
like this is all so wrong
Maybe it's her
She just has bad luck
The guys she loves are always worthless fucks
And you'd think there'd be something to keep it in check
besides a good lay
and a kiss on the neck
So she sets herself up
for those in a glass case
fiddles with the lock
and goes for the chase
whos to blame?
It's really quite clear
the one holding her heart
and swallowing her fear
Up the ladder:
Knife
Down the ladder:
paint brush
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: June 1, 2003 4:06 PM PDT; Last modified: June 1, 2003 4:06 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.119203 Overall Rank: 5858 Comments:
[n/a]
horus8 @ 24.126.113.154
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1-Jun-03/4:10 PM
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Reply
excuses, notice the c.
You claim it's an endless pattern that she goes from guy to guy. But so far she's only been with a finite number of guys. There are infinitely many incompatible infinite patterns compatible with that finite past.
For example, you think her history of sleeping with worthless guys again and again indicates a pattern called 'bedhopping'. However, it equally well indicates a pattern called 'quedhopping', defined as: sleeping with worthless guys up to and including 2nd June 2003, and physically transmuting into a sentient lichen thereafter. Hence, nothing about her past history determines that she's bedhopping rather than quedhopping. I think you have more important things to worry about concerning your friend. You'd better go and check she's not already started the transmutation.
Why does she go around sleeping with all those guys? Does she really know their intentions? Does she understand every bing about bem?
I like this. It's harsh and blunt, but I like that it's straight-forward. The rhymes don't really distract the reader eithre, especially at the end. At the beginning, they were kind of shoddy, but it's okay, because the poem was good. I really enjoyed this. I hope to see another one like it...
-Nichole- P.S. - I'd appreciate it if you'd take a look at one of my poems too. 127 view(s)
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