Re: a comment on A Country Anecdote by Dovina	1-Apr-06/12:43 PM
I put up what I think is more than half-assed. "Nice ass"? Whatever.
Re: a comment on A Country Anecdote by Dovina	1-Apr-06/12:22 PM
Thanks. Any other comment?
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	1-Apr-06/11:03 AM
Redneck: a person whose neck is red in the back from sunburn - not from Texas where everyone wears broad-rimmed hats, nor from the South, where it’s always too nasty to go outside. No, rednecks live only in Southern California and are restricted to bicycle-riders, who always lean forward on the handlebars. – Dovina’s Dictionary
Re: The Unforgiven II by alvinb	31-Mar-06/6:39 PM
I don't know if you copied this or not. It would be easy to find out. It's even easier to find out that you voted yourself a 10.
Re: Old Friend by drnick	31-Mar-06/5:15 PM
I like the first two verses. But verse three says that even in post-graduate fashion, your mind cannot fathom how you let him/her go, as if post-graduateness affects your ability to fathom such things. In verse three, "our memories" implies that her/his memories are available for you to evaluate as unending as the wind. But these are minor nits. Overall good.
Re: a comment on A Country Anecdote by Dovina	31-Mar-06/11:15 AM
You asked if I lived in Tennessee, and your question inspired thinking along those lines. I enjoy responding more than I enjoy initiating, so thanks for the inspiration. That’s what draws me back to poemranker, even after the prolific guff I’ve gotten here. Speaking of which, you aren’t going to let the wife of god win, are you? I could bounce something back into your court: “Don't forget Dovina and Zodiac's bickering. If watching those to drive each other nuts doesn't make life worthwhile then I don't know what does.”
Re: a comment on Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina	30-Mar-06/7:25 PM
I know the categorical “you”’s are many. They really mean “I” as you know. But saying “I” all the time would have given the poem a personal character that I didn’t entirely want. Using “you” projects my feelings about divorcing Tennessee onto the audience, as if the same feelings might come to them if they had had this experience. You could call that approach didactic, I suppose. But I think it can work well. Not saying I totally succeeded. Thanks for the comment.
Re: Sensually Literary Villanelle by bwaha	30-Mar-06/6:48 PM
So, is this an attempt to change yourself, or do you really prefer books to men?
Re: a comment on Cat Feet by Niphredil	30-Mar-06/2:23 PM
East by southeast, or about 292 degrees south azimuth. Carry on.
Re: a comment on Cat Feet by Niphredil	30-Mar-06/2:07 PM
"like zodiac trying to figure which way Mecca is from fairbanks"
Re: Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	30-Mar-06/2:03 PM
I think "Waking Hours" would make a better title than a first line. Comma after "aimlessly" Comma after "me" Period after "more" Comma after "go"
Re: a comment on Time Thief by Dovina	30-Mar-06/1:51 PM
Read "Divorcing Tennessee" to find out what it was like moving from there to California. I have another poem about that traumatic time ready to post, but must wait the obligatory five hours.
Re: a comment on Time Thief by Dovina	30-Mar-06/12:27 PM
If you mean Southern California, then southern I am. And coffee is in my blood.
Re: Clothed by D. $ Fontera	30-Mar-06/11:43 AM
Sorry, I don't get it.
Re: Quiet Hands by Sunny	30-Mar-06/11:41 AM
While I see what's going on, the details seem too vague for such trauma. And the ending seems like the wail should come before the attempt, that is if the baby dies of choking. But again, that is uncertain.
Re: Cat Feet by Niphredil	30-Mar-06/11:32 AM
Knowing what you have said about the narrator, this makes a lot of sense. Without knowing that, it would slip past me like a quiet cat. Perhaps you could hint with something like, "ears or not, I know you're there."
Re: a comment on A Fish is Always a Fish by Dovina	30-Mar-06/11:17 AM
I see what you mean, and I know that this does not have to be the end of the story. I could write another verse about admitting defeat, giving up, and finally being rescued.
Re: a comment on A Fish is Always a Fish by Dovina	30-Mar-06/11:16 AM
That’s good and bad to hear from someone whose poems I seldom understand. But, on occasion, a glimmer. Thanks.
Re: a comment on Time Thief by Dovina	30-Mar-06/11:08 AM
The cartoon diversion is no more than a fun way to show how much more we can do if we stop hurrying. You’re right, it doesn’t belong there. I was inspired to write this admittedly didactic aphorism to counter slogans like Poor Richard’s, “Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.” It seems to me that most such proverbs are too simplistic to be of much value. Thanks for raising your vote and for the comments.
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	29-Mar-06/3:21 PM
The problem with tweaking the ending is that I would not have known the sun is the child, or that the moon is you, without your explanation. Therefore, I would not have known anything about the child, whether she was happy, sad, smiling, except for what the last line says. From tht unknowing position, it could go either way.