Re: a comment on I always Win by InWonderLand	11-Nov-06/4:31 PM
It's what a wasp does, isn't it? A waspish-looking poem, too, a kind of in-your-face reversal. It's what is. Butt "is" is such a bland word. It's what bees - much better.
Re: Mind of One by justjay	11-Nov-06/1:52 PM
This has potential, but think about "Spinning around in circles that no one has ever imagined." What does it really mean? is it true? Does it really add anything to your theme? Also consider the grammar throughout; is it better to follow the rules?
Re: In a Church by Sasha	11-Nov-06/1:47 PM
It's a good poem, I suppose, at least a good poem in translation. Couldn't you improve the meter though, and not lose the meaning. i.e.: Star candles in the people’s hands, a bit of tallow for Madonna. Each a gift, a silent prayer, a secret keeping holy honor.
Re: POT OF THE POET by stevopoet	11-Nov-06/1:31 PM
It's a lot of words about poetry strung together withour much of a point. I suppose it's clever, but not very.
Re: forgotten by the indign	11-Nov-06/1:21 PM
Cut out half the words for starters. Then see if there's some intresting way to way it.
Re: I always Win by InWonderLand	11-Nov-06/12:50 PM
Do you think switching upper and lower case is cute? It's not. This needs more thought about what it says.
Re: Accusation by INTRANSIT	11-Nov-06/12:44 PM
Yes, poor poor man. He has no choice, always accused for what he is. Cut him up, girls; each take a piece. Really, this says it quite well.
Re: Dovina & Co by amanda_dcosta	11-Nov-06/12:25 PM
If a Company can have a heart, then its eyes can have despair, and you can look there and say, "It will survive." Some eyes have faith, others hope, others love. And you know which is greatest.
Re: a comment on Rare Oul' Times in the County Wicklow by Edna Sweetlove	4-Nov-06/11:30 AM
Where is that old cuss? We used to have such sweet walks in the glimmers of moonlight, reflected in ripples on the pools of dog piss. From Edna, all I see is dog piss.
Re: a comment on The Hunter, the Hunted, and the Bystander by Dovina	3-Nov-06/1:34 PM
No, it's from a dream.
Re: a comment on The Hunter, the Hunted, and the Bystander by Dovina	3-Nov-06/1:33 PM
When you do, drop a line.
Re: a comment on The Hunter, the Hunted, and the Bystander by Dovina	3-Nov-06/1:32 PM
Yeah, the tiger’s mouth is vicious, but not quite right. But then, that boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark that almost ran over Indiana Jones, isn’t either. The silence was, in fact, guilty, but I suppose it goes without saying.
Re: heyyyyyy alligator by hottttwindnie	3-Nov-06/1:18 PM
"rhyming is hard" - Wrong!
Re: Footsteps by MacFrantic	3-Nov-06/1:17 PM
The sound is poetry. Maybe that's all that matters.
Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina	2-Nov-06/5:42 AM
Yes, these feminine pastel colors have a subliminal calming of the nasties. Most of the men in developing countries agree that the one with the most children wins; and that is the major source of the problem. I presume you were kidding.
Re: a comment on Still by half.italian	2-Nov-06/5:38 AM
Yes, I think it works for you because you know the details. I often fall into the same delusion – thinking that because a scene is perfectly vivid in memory or imagination, it should be easily seen by a competent reader, or at least that some similar scene should come to their mind. And it’s true that all the details should not be necessary for this to happen. I think that in trying to be vague, you have erred on the side of giving too little detail. You say that in telling us too much, you would enjoy the poem less; but I say that in telling us too little, you have led us to false conclusions. It is not dog shit, but it is confusing or nebulous to me as written. Thanks for the coherent explanation.
Re: a comment on Still by half.italian	1-Nov-06/10:32 AM
Sorry, that's too arogant, even for me.
Re: Poem for Mahmuth by Dental Panic	1-Nov-06/10:30 AM
If male, you show inordinate female understanding in the first stanza. "sadder wiser beers, drank locked behind playgrounds" says a lot. Stanza 2 blows it mostly, first with the nondescript salutation to Burundi, then the periods in UFO. And how is that related to the excellent start?
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	1-Nov-06/10:22 AM
"Despite" probably is too, especially if you assume the archaic meaning - "contempt" or "scorn" - which fits nicely with "hag."
Re: Suburban Spleen by Sasha	31-Oct-06/10:59 AM
Yes, a familiar sentiment. Spleen in the title is a correct usage, but an uncommon one; maybe another word. Welcome back.