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Mind of One (Free verse) by justjay Brightness fills,
Only to circum to darkness.
Inside the mind of one,
Whom no one knew.
the hectic eyes on confusion,
Gathering around one single entity.
To visualize only,
Something they can't have.
The mind wandering relentlessly,
Trying to find it's way back to sanity.
Spinning around in circles,
That no one has ever imagined.
The body in complete havoc,
Roaming around to find something,
It can't handle.
Senselessly coming back to it's origin.
Up the ladder:
Upon the Battlefield
Down the ladder:
STRESS STINKS! ARRID WORKS!
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: November 9, 2006 11:47 PM PST; Last modified: November 9, 2006 11:47 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10288 Comments:
[6]
Dovina @ 72.234.150.12
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11-Nov-06/1:52 PM
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Reply
This has potential, but think about "Spinning around in circles that no one has ever imagined." What does it really mean? is it true? Does it really add anything to your theme? Also consider the grammar throughout; is it better to follow the rules?
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