Re: Desert Rain by donmiguel1960	26-Jun-04/3:58 PM
The rare rain is a good metaphor for something, and nicely described, but I'm loseing what it is. And who is Miguel Antonio Francis?
Re: Origins by Doug	26-Jun-04/3:49 PM
Verses 1&2 are what marriage of an experienced couple is. I like it a lot, can laugh with it. Christ seems extra though. When they conceive a subtle light and give birth to charisma, I'm guessing, but there's chemistry in the now and was.
Re: a comment on afraid by hbhpoems	26-Jun-04/1:21 PM
Funny, most critics say, "Show, don't tell." I like it your way better sometimes.
Re: a comment on Sustained by Dovina	26-Jun-04/1:16 PM
An old poet I once knew saw a connection between a well dressed woman and a writer. Nonsense!
Re: Stuffy by horus8	25-Jun-04/9:31 PM
Except for a few spelling errors, this is cute.
Re: Someday Soon by Drunk Russian Poet	25-Jun-04/3:36 PM
A mysterious kinda thing, I won't even say all the interpretations it could have or the problems with them. Let it be for the intuition.
Re: a comment on Sustained by Dovina	25-Jun-04/3:04 PM
I take your vote and comment here and your co-opting my title for your recent post as retributions, perhaps deserved. You have been with poemranker for a long time and have written some good poems, made a lot of deservedly respected comments, and have generally established yourself here as someone worth listening to. I could say that your Bukowski poem does not follow the generally accepted elements of poetry and therefore give it a 2 or something. But I like what you are saying and would give a ten, as many others have done, whether it tells, shows, or conforms or not. I could say the same for much of your work. I am new, and you have far less with which to judge me, but apparently it has been enough. I have written “a piece of utter fucking crap” and I am one of the “stupid, spineless, folk.” I didn’t mind that so much and figured it was part of a general rant. That’s why I said, “Thank you for finding my poem a suitable place to vent your frustrations.” But your diatribe continued: “How much thought did you put into this poem? How much have you studied about the craft of writing poetry? If this poem is any measure I would have to assume the answer to both these questions would be 'none'.” “You are flat out telling me that God has a special Wonderland . . .” “If you want to write a poem about your faith . . . then it would be far more interesting and touching to show me what in your life has convinced you of this.” These comments are far more cutting than the first. I responded: “I find it a great comedy that people who devote so much energy to the accurate phrase, the descriptive word, can mire under word-clouds of misunderstanding. The audience reading this will surely laugh as I say that you have totally misunderstood or I have totally mis-written. Sorry to have bothered you.” From there it only got worse. I’m not seeking a feigned look of sisterly understanding. I would rather hear your bashing if that’s what you mean. In that case I will have to decide how to act in a world where a significant fellow voyeur is hostile.
Re: Absolution by Drunk Russian Poet	25-Jun-04/9:29 AM
I take it as a kind of priestly advice for gaining "Absolution" for having committed the perceived sin af adultry, advising the woman to tell her child his breeding. She questions whether to tell, apparently because of guilt feelings. The last verse is provocatively ambiguous because we don't know whether the "ears" are the child's or the world's. Good.
Re: a comment on Center Of The Universe by Dovina	24-Jun-04/6:05 PM
Good idea, maybe: "If I crush an insomniac word twiddler," And end the poem with: "No matter, it was only a poet."
Re: Starting Mode by zenhaircut	24-Jun-04/5:54 PM
I'd scratch the first verse. "Our soles preceed our souls," "no longer cold," not needed. "My freeform flails" Is your friend really 96 and dancing?
Re: Nihil Obstat by temet_nosce	24-Jun-04/5:48 PM
As an addict to writing, I think I understand your position. But it's not clearly stated, even to an addict, therefore probably not to normal people. Zero in on what it is you're most concerned about.
Re: To A Debaucherous Lover by versus_u	24-Jun-04/5:43 PM
Could you say whatever it is a little more simply please.
Re: afraid by hbhpoems	24-Jun-04/4:02 PM
"now instead of in the past" This is a good start. The idea is there. It needs metaphor or clever prose or something tricky because that's what poetic readers want.
Re: Tattooed by DR Limerick	24-Jun-04/3:59 PM
Comma after day. Funny, sort of.
Re: Tommorrow by moonlightdance	24-Jun-04/3:56 PM
I love the immediacy of great moments, the throwing off of caution. But I think you have dwelt on it too long in this poem. Brevity seems in order, especially for this topic. Good thoughts.
Re: The longest day by fair12	24-Jun-04/11:55 AM
This has some good lines and a nice flow (except for the first paragraph, which I would scratch) but I wonder what the point is. Am I missing something?
Re: | Broken Memory | by | Broken |	24-Jun-04/9:08 AM
Destiny and fate change nothing! Get real. Look at life squarely and stop making excuses. Don't stop writing poetry though.
Re: The Hot Job by peaceseeker	24-Jun-04/9:06 AM
Dump the bum!!!!
Re: Someday by moonlightdance	24-Jun-04/9:04 AM
You have no choice. Go for it. Just be careful.
Re: a comment on The Riddle of Creation by Dovina	24-Jun-04/8:39 AM
Then I am the most hopeless person alive.